And Moving Right Along…


And Moving Right Along…

Help_buttonI’m actually not sure how I feel about the latest decisions I’ve had to make. On one hand, relieved that I will have help, on the other hand, I hate the need for the decisions.

I realized a few days ago that since Richard has gotten to a point that he can’t turn or roll over or sit up without assistance, I need help to bathe him and change the bed sheets. (I got quite a workout changing the sheets the other day while trying to maneuver him with one hand and work the sheet with the other.) I received tips from some of the people on as to how to change a sheet with a bedridden person. Unfortunately, most of the advice was for someone who could roll over. Doesn’t apply here. So I called Daisy (his Hospice nurse) and told her I’d like an HHA twice a week to help with those two things. Since he doesn’t exert any energy, doesn’t sweat or get dirty, I think twice a week is enough - although that can change. She said she’d take care of it. So beginning this coming week, it seems I'll be getting some help.

That was the first decision.

Because he can’t lie down, or sit up because of the pressure on the tumor and the nerves it presses on--he sort of reclines 24 hours a day--and because he’s on a flat bed with just pillows propped up behind him, he “slides down” quite often throughout the day and night. He has no energy or strength anymore to be able to pull himself up and he needs my assistance. So decision number two: first thing Monday morning I’m requesting a hospital bed from Hospice.

I began my Sunday morning rearranging the bedroom. I pushed our bed over as far as I could to one side of the room – with Richard still in it. Then I vacuumed what had previously been under the bed, moved all unnecessary stuff to the guest room and rearranged that room to accommodate our queen size bed (standing up in front of the other furniture.) Then - and I’m real proud of myself for this - I actually asked for help!! My mom has two twin beds in one of her rooms. I asked if I could borrow one for me. Of course she said yes. I called my son and asked if he could help. He too said yes and came over within the hour. Then I called a friend with a pickup truck and asked if he could go with me and my son to pick up the bed from my mom’s, bring it back, transfer Richard to it and take the queen bed out of the room. He too came right over. I actually considered renting a truck from Home Depot and doing it all myself. I'm glad I didn't.

So now the room is ready for the hospital bed. I dug out the air mattress for me to sleep on tonight and possibly several nights as well, until the bed arrives. Since I haven’t even asked for it yet, who knows how long it will take to get here.

I’m not sure how I feel about having a hospital bed and a HHA here, but I know we NEED them. So, like everything else I’ll adjust.

But… I’m very proud of myself that I actually was able to ask for – and accept - help. Definitely a step in the right direction.

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Debbie, I am so proud of you for making the right decision at such a hard time. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the hospital bed and HHA provide relief and comfort for you both. Am keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. (((Hugs)))


I too am so proud of you. It is so hard to ask for help, but sometimes we need to. Taking care of you will help you take care of Richard which is your priority. So, asking for help was a good decision. Sending you hugs and strength.


Hi Debbie--This is awesome! It is soo hard to ask for the help so good for you for doing it. \r\n\r\nI hope the hospital bed helps. Maybe because the bed will do the moving (rather than Richard), he will be able to adjust the positions and get some relief. \r\n\r\nThese changes--having the HHA and the hospital bed--are so sad. But they can help and it's important you have help right now. \r\n\r\nPlease keep us posted and let us know how tomorrow goes.