Ask an Expert: How Do I Tell Her I Don’t Need Her Help?


Ask an Expert: How Do I Tell Her I Don’t Need Her Help?

luggage-64355_640Dear Denise,

I'm looking to find someone to sit with my mom for a couple weeks. One friend offered her services in the evening and another during the day. Unfortunately, Mom doesn't like the the one who wants to help in the evenings. How do I break it to her that we wouldn't need her, even though I DO need someone in the evenings?

Getting Away

Dear Getting,

I'm so glad you are getting a break!!

I would stay as close to the truth as possible when breaking the news to your friend. You can say something like, "Thank you so much for offering to help. At this point, I don't need your help but if anything changes, I will let you know." This way, if you do end up needing her help, you can bring her in without any apologies or further explanations. You also can continue to look for the help that's the best fit for your mom.

I hope this helps. Enjoy your time off!


Stumped by an on-going struggle? Searching for meaning in your journey? You’re not alone! Family caregivers ask Denise M. Brown, Editor and Publisher,, for her insights and suggestions to their caregiving conundrums. Have a question for Denise? Just e-mail her. Denise will do her best to answer questions within 24 hours.

If you or your caree are in a crisis, we urge you to call a health care professional immediately for assistance. Denise only provides general insights about general situations. You should always consult your own lawyer, financial planner, health care professional and other professional advisors for advice specific to your situation.

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