Battle of the Bands

jan

Battle of the Bands

jan
Billy Joel was my Buddy, my Man, my Soul Train during the first leg of the caregiving journey. Michael Buble carried the torch later on the trail, followed by Oblivion Hymns by Hammock, The Moody Blues, the Beatles. What about them made sense to me at the time, spoke to me, touched my heart, moved me as I've wandered down the road?

Billy Joel has a raw energy in his music. I love his women, I want to BE one of the women he sings about. His appeal must be generational, because my daughter just doesn't get him or his women, or the issues they are facing. I want to be in one of his ballads. I want to be swept away in the bigness of his river. The energy I had at the beginning of this journey, the new emotions I experienced, could I hide in his stories? I realized there was a certain "badness" I felt about leaving my mom with caregivers and not doing it myself. I was being "bad", a slacker who shirked responsibilities,  rebellious, (I was being a "bad girl") and Billy Joel's music channeled that when I didn't recognize it in myself.

There is a smoothness to Michael Buble's music, and always a sense of humor. Even the sad songs (and there aren't many) have no jagged edges, no real surprises. His voice floats on the vowels. He sings joy, happiness, comfort, security, passion. After 2 1/2 years of caregiving,  I was getting tired, lonely; I want waves, moonlight, romance, connection. As with Billy Joel, I purchased the CD's and played them everywhere, day and night.

When I left my mom this summer and went north to see my husband, I played Oblivion Hymns non-stop for three weeks. It had a soulful message about eternity, comfort, yearning, my smallness and Other Bigness. My mom died during that northern visit. Oblivion Hymns will probably always bring that back in my mind.

Back in Florida, I played the Moody Blues non-stop during the preparations for my mom's burial. It may have seemed irreverent, but there was a familiarity to waves of the heart.  The Beatles have been my companions since then. So reliable; their energy, naivete, optimism, and un-pretentiousness underpin my daily activities as I start a new life.

Who have you asked to join you on the journey, and have you ever thought about why?

concert-896786_640