Be Careful What You Wish For...

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Be Careful What You Wish For...

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peace-68861_640We were elated this past week when we learned that Hugh was a candidate for surgery for his colon cancer. His tumor was a bit low in the intestine, but the surgeon felt he could do a resection without any major difficulties. Although Hugh became more worried as the surgery date loomed on Friday, he knew that he didn't have a choice. The tumor had to go.

We watched two seasons of House of Cards to kill time. I cancelled appointments and regular activities so I could spend time with him. We were in waiting mode. We had no clue whether the tumor had penetrated his intestinal wall or if the cancer had metastasized. We knew that we'd have to wait for those answers, as the surgery would give those answers to us on a platter.

This morning, my husband entered the surgical theater at 10:30 am. By 12:30 p.m. he was in recovery, and the surgeon greeted me with great news--the surgery went well. By 2:30 p.m., my husband was in ICU under Code Blue. At 2:38 a.m. this morning, he died. Thankfully, I was by his side.

I had wished for a clean surgery. I got that. I had no clue that the surgery would come with a cost. My husband's liver just couldn't handle the shock, and his body shut down. The doctors think his liver had been compromised by the cancer. All I know is that his life and his vitality are gone forever, except in my memory.

I honor my husband, who was so frightened by this surgery. He knew he wouldn't make it out. I didn't have a clue. He knew that, and he allowed me that luxury. He loved me well.

Sleep well, my dear. Sleep in peace.

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Sharon

I am so sorry for your sudden loss. I know how things that happen so suddenly can really take your legs out from under you. I wish you strength to hold yourself up during these days. I know he will be with you, always.

Linda

Dear Jane -- thank you so much. I needed those hugs. <3

Linda

Thank you, Sally. I'll be back around soon. I'm so grateful to have so many friends who have stepped up to take care of me. I think Hugh is giving marching orders. haha...I'm missing him so much. He took very good care of me.

Linda

Dear Pegi...Oh my. The loss is stunning. I am happy that I was able to be with him. I'm still angry angry angry over the way he left, but a huge part of me is welcoming some peace. Thank you. <3

Linda

Dear Mar -- thank you. My Hugh was such a difficult man, but he had such pride and dignity and a very huge heart. I'll be able to write again, I hope soon.

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