Bearing the Pain and Suffering

Denise

Bearing the Pain and Suffering

Denise
heart-297313_640A few years ago, one of our members (@carlaschuchman, who cared for her husband) asked a question I often think about: How do we bear the pain and suffering our loved ones endure?

My mom had a difficult night last night which became a tough day today. She's bleeding again and back in ICU.

This afternoon, before being transferred to ICU, she had another test to pinpoint the source of the bleeding. As they wheeled her out of her room for the test, my dad bent to kiss her head and hold her hand. After she left the room, he sobbed. He bent over, leaned against the sink and cried his heart out.

My mom is miserable, tired of the setbacks, the hospital, the prodding and poking. My dad is heartbroken, anxious about my mom's discomfort, misery and future.

As my dad sobbed, I rubbed his back and stood right next to him. I couldn't say anything because I wasn't sure what to say. I don't want to offer false hope, I don't want to pretend all is okay, I don't want to deny that my mom faces a serious medical situation.

When you can't help, can you still hope?

As I write this, I can hear my dad praying in bed.

How do you bear the pain and suffering when you can't offer any healing for that pain and suffering? I remind myself to be present, simply, fully, whole-heartedly.