Being a Punching Bag

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Being a Punching Bag

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Last week my dad had his care plan meeting. During the meeting he complained of being sleepy during the day, a side effect of his Parkinson's meds. He was asked if he wanted to be wakened  for activities that the staff knows he enjoys, and he said he didn't want them to wake him because he would be too groggy to participate which I understood. The nurse suggested adding a stimulant to his medications and offered to contact the doctor. Dad did not seem to be bothered by this. He also spoke about being bored.

The next day the floor coordinator asked Dad to come to a meeting with  the floor staff  as a follow up.  They brought up the sleepiness and spoke about  medication options. I was unaware of the agenda of the meeting  and I did not attend.

The next day, I visited Dad and it was clear he was upset. He accused me of setting up the meeting because I was the only one who knew about his daytime sleepiness. (He forgot that he  brought it up in the meeting)

After taking a deep breath I reminded him of the meeting and that he had brought up the topic and that I was not the enemy. We talked it out but I hate  that his first reaction is to blame me.

I remember when my Mom started having memory losses that she would lash  out at us. I know  intellectually  about     Parkinson's and the potential decline cognitively along with  physically. I am just not emotionally prepared for my dad to drift away. At least with my Mom there were more of us involved in taking care of her. With my dad, it is just me.

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Il

Addendum . . So you don't feel alone I'm 'in the same boat'. My father lashes out at me. I didn't realize it is unfortunately common for Dad's to lash out at Daughters, but I guess it is . . . I go through this every day. Today it was not taking the garbage out correctly. I'm glad you were able to talk things out too. I would love some tips from you! (((hugs ))) il

ejourneys

Ditto to Pegi and Il -- I keep reminding myself it's the disorder talking when my partner lashes out. Detaching and not taking things personally is hard, but it ultimately makes things easier for me. I'm sorry for your dad's outburst, but I'm glad you were both able to talk things out.

Il

Yup, it's the disease and it's so very hard to keep 'distance'. Now I'm saying what everyone else has said to me. I'm human and so are you. il

ketzela

Thanks Pegi. I try to keep my perspective.