Birthday Celebration: Forgive

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Birthday Celebration: Forgive

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forgive_0Every day this week, we’re celebrating Caregiving.com’s 17th birthday with activities and prizes, including a grand prize of $300. We're mingling our birthday celebration with our ability to disrupt.

Today, we're breaking to disrupt our life with forgiveness.

I think we all carry a regret or a shame. Maybe it's not something we think about every day or every week, but once in awhile, the memory comes up. And, we can feel that memory begin to control who we are. The memory haunts, belittles, controls. It's awful.

So, today, let's forgive ourselves for what we we wish we would have done differently or better or not at all. Let's disrupt our lives by being to kind to ourselves, by realizing we're doing the best we can and by letting a second chance, rather than a past regret, rule our day.

Here's mine: I'm going to forgive myself for the path of my life, which I'm doing the best to follow but sometimes wonder how I got to where I am. And, often, where I am seems to simply be revisiting where I was. So, I want to forgive myself for what hasn't worked in my life, for having to make difficult adjustments in order to be able to keep going, and for the hopes I have which have yet to materialize. Because I forgive myself, I can be in myself in the world and, most important, I can be in my life without apologies.

Then, share how you had fun in our comments section, below. When you post a comment here, you’ll be entered into a chance to win one of our daily prizes and one of our grand prizes. To win a daily prize and/or a grand prize, you must be a family caregiver, a member of Caregiving.com and participate in one of our daily disrupt activities. Not a member of Caregiving.com? It’s easy and free to join; just go here.

Today, let's let forgiveness change our life.

Congrats to the winners of yesterday’s daily prizes:
–@donna won a copy of @ejourney’s eBook, Caregiving in Five Lines;
–@thpurplejacket won copy of our eBook, An Anthology: Help, Comedy, Forgiveness, Gifts, which features the stories of family caregivers;
–@trish won Take Comfort and Take Comfort, Too, the MP3s, audio versions (in my voice) of my books, Take Comfort and Take Comfort, Too.

Look for an email this afternoon with your win.

Resources
Learn about our week-long birthday celebration, including our eligibility requirements to win the daily and grand prizes, here.

Reminders
Be sure to share what caregiving is like for you in our annual family caregiver survey. Take our survey here. Please ask other family caregivers you know to complete the survey, too. (Thank you!!)

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atisMOM

<a href='http://www.m40.siteground.biz/~caregiv6/members/denise/' rel=\"nofollow\">@Denise</a>....\r\nBy the way, I love the visual with the forgiving pill:-)

atisMOM

I too, like everyone else here think it's harder to forgive myself. For the most part, it is out of anger and frustration majority of the time. Some days the self pity of \"Why me?\", is just unbearable. Then I think to myself, \"If not me for them.... Then who?\" \r\n\r\nSo from this day forward I'll do my absolute best to forgive myself and my negative thoughts:\r\n\r\n-Gosh I'm tired of changing and cleaning you and your things, every single day.\r\n-Stop calling me, there are other people in the home.\r\n-Did you have to do the things that I do now when you were my age?\r\n-I didn't plan or want to make caregiving my career/profession.\r\n-It just sucks to be me.\r\n-You're such a jerk!\r\n-You think you have it bad, come and walk in my shoes anytime.\r\n-You think you're tired.... Believe me when I say, I'M TIRED!\r\n\r\nThese are just some of the things that go through my mind almost on a daily basis. I know it's just the frustration getting the best of me, but still.... It makes me feel like such a horrible person. I'm also constantly praying daily for forgiveness, because it's hard to keep these thoughts under control. They're the main people responsible for bringing me into to this world and who I am today, how can I think this way?!?! People say that I will be blessed for all that I do, I didn't wish these things upon them in order to have blessings bestowed upon me!\r\n\r\nSo today, I forgive myself....

Tami

Forgiveness. I feel that the person that I have been continuously forgiving is my ex-husband. We have been divorced for over 13 years, however about a year ago he made the decision not be in my children's lives. This has caused me to be so very angry that I have to bare the burden of caring for my newly diagnosed 12 year old son with Type 1 Diabetes. The scheduling of appointments, the midnight bg checks, the math ohhhhh the math and helping my son through the anger.\r\n\r\nAfter attempting to find him and have a conversion with him, he would not meet me. Once this happened, I felt sadness for him.\r\n\r\nEven though I have to take care of appointments, phone calls to insurance companies, prescriptions and everyday care for my son. The rewards I receive are tremendous. I have such a close relationship with my son and so much respect for him as my hero. \r\n\r\nForgiving him has helped me to not be so angry and release an emotion that I have been spending way too much time on. I would like to say that the forgiveness is done for him, but some days I have to forgive him again. It is a process.

donna

I'm fairly certain that I'll never know exactly what events led to my husband's brain injury. After being awake for two days straight, I'd finally passed out in the ICU waiting room. I was fast asleep at 3am, and didn't hear the code blue ring out through the hospital. Even after speaking with the doctor on call and reviewing the nurse's notes from that night, I don't have a precise answer. However, I heard various accounts of mistakes being made. Those working had been very strictly instructed by the pulmonary doctor not to touch my husband's ventilator tube. Since it was breathing 100% for him by this time, the force of air going through was extremely high. I've heard that a respiratory therapist tried to reposition his tube because they felt it was leaking air. I believe it was at this time that part of his tube popped inside, causing him to lose his airway. The next several minutes while the nurses performed CPR and an ER doctor arrived to insert a new tube changed life as we knew it for our family. Concerned friends and family suggested at the time that we should take legal action against the hospital. I simply didn't have room inside for any feelings besides relief that he had survived. As I sat beside his bed for the next two weeks while he lingered in a coma, I wasn't able to let bitterness crowd my dwindling hope. The next five months were a blur as he recovered in three different hospitals. Shortly after he returned home, and I took over his care, I started looking for someone to blame for the drastic changes in my husband. I once again contacted the doctor on call and asked for a more specific explanation. While she was patient and kind, I still felt as though I wasn't getting the whole picture. I finally decided that I needed to forgive whomever was responsible in order to move forward. Since then, I no longer dwell on what happened that night. I try to be grateful for the years I've had with my husband since then.

Sue

Wow - this is a tough one for me. I carry around so much guilt, I don't even know what exists there until it wells up at some inappropriate time and triggered by something unrelated to the true cause and I'm all of a sudden in total mopey mode or total crazy stress mode. \r\n\r\nLike Jane, I need to forgive myself for the financial disarray that seems to follow me around (couldn't be that I am creating it, right). I need to forgive myself for not doing a better job keeping my house and family in order...I feel like I am just \"putting out fires\" all the time instead of actually relaxing and enjoying our home and our time together. I need to forgive myself for not having a healthy child...perhaps it was my fault in some way...I still don't know. I need to forgive myself for not being a better friend. I don't visit people or hang out with people. I am a total flake when it comes to socializing. All of these things probably hurt me as much as they do anyone else...but, I still feel guilty. \r\nSo, tonight, I attempt to forgive myself. As I read all of your other comments_mysql it made me realize how ridiculous some of our views of ourselves can be when we let them be ridiculous. I want to stop doing that and start loving myself. \r\nThanks Denise!

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