But, That's What We Do!

Denise

But, That's What We Do!

Denise
help-164755_640The documentary, "The Genius of Marian," tells the story of Pam White, diagnosed with early onset Alzheimr's disease. Her son, the filmmaker, shows his mom as she adjusts and declines and his father as he takes on more and more of her care.

At one point, his father explains his perspective on caregiving. A staff member at the Alzheimer's Association suggested he hire a home health aide to help with Pam's care so he could focus on just being her husband, he said. He declined, explaining that as long as he can do it, he will.

At that moment, I thought: "But that's what he does as a husband--he takes care of his wife."

Last week, I participated on an ElderCare Forum at a large financial services company in Chicago. A rep from a home health company shared that she recently encouraged a working family caregiver to use her services so that the family caregiver could concentrate on just being a daughter.

At the moment, I thought: "But that's what I do as a daughter--I take care of my parents."

I wonder how you feel about these suggestions from professionals--that we let others do the hands-on care so we focus on our relationship. I'm all about having help--I look at the help as helping me continue to help. I struggle with the idea of delegating help so that I remain the daughter. Because I help and care, I am a daughter. I don't want to be replaced, I just want to be helped.

What about you? What do you think?