#carechat on August 16: Dealing with the Daily Grind

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#carechat on August 16: Dealing with the Daily Grind

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Our next #carechat on Twitter will take place on Sunday, August 17, at 8 p.m. ET (7 p.m. CT, 5 p.m. PT). Join us to connect and share with others who care for a family member or friend.

To participate in our chat, go to tweetchat.com, sign in with your Twitter credentials and follow our hashtag: #carechat.

stress-111425_640During this #carechat, we’ll discuss how to deal with the daily grind of caregiving.

These questions will guide our conversation:

1. How would you describe the caregiving grind?

2. Which part of your day feels like more of a grind: Morning, afternoon, evening. Or is it all a grind?

3. What makes the grind so stressful?

4. Which tasks feel like a grind to you?

5. What can you do to lessen the caregiving grind?

6. What tip can you share that you learned because you perfected a task or responsibility?

7. When can you take a moment during the day to appreciate all you do?

8. What can you do tomorrow to ensure you have a moment that you enjoy?

See you on Twitter on Sunday!

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Denise

Thank you so much <a href='http://www.caregiving.com/members/hussy/' rel=\"nofollow\">@hussy</a> and <a href='http://www.caregiving.com/members/npasdk/' rel=\"nofollow\">@npasdk</a>. I loved reading your answers!

Hussy

Like Tim, I was unable to make it, but wanted to share some thoughts here.\r\n\r\n1. How would you describe the caregiving grind? \r\nRobotic. Hamster wheel. \r\n\r\n2. Which part of your day feels like more of a grind: Morning, afternoon, evening. Or is it all a grind?\r\nEvening is toughest because I come home from work and I get right to…work. Take care of the dogs and cats, go through the mail, empty the dishwasher, fold the laundry in the dryer and start another load, put the trash out for pickup, and on and on and on. Then I make the rounds – I walk through each room in the house -- because my husband will invariably have left a debris trail: empty glasses (or not empty), doors, drawers, and cupboards open, clothes and towels on the floor, random piles of change, sales receipts, and wrappings from medical supplies, dishes piled by the sink, etc. I’m very much a-place-for-everything-and-everything-in-its-place kind of person, so needless to say this kind of clutter drives me crazy. I won’t be able to relax later if the place is not tidied up. Next, I check on my husband to see what he needs. And then I go to my second job. By the time I get home, I’m exhausted. Rinse and repeat. \r\n \r\n3. What makes the grind so stressful?\r\nWhen my husband’s chemo brain kicks in and he forgets to do his assigned chores. (But of course he didn’t forget to go to the recording studio!) \r\n\r\n4. Which tasks feel like a grind to you?\r\nHaving to clean up the kitchen after my husband makes a meal. I suppose it’s only fair, but if I had my way, I’d just eat a sandwich and not have any cleaning up to do. \r\nGeneral housekeeping – we have a big house and there’s a never ending need to dust and vacuum. \r\n\r\n5. What can you do to lessen the caregiving grind?\r\nNow I have my husband write down his “chores for the day” so he can’t say he forgot them. \r\nI got tired of being the only one emptying the bathroom waste basket (especially since I don’t use it. I have my own waste basket in my dressing room). So I took it away. When my husband asked what happened to it, I explained to him why I removed it. He asked me to put it back and now he empties it.  \r\nMy husband knew I was at my wit’s end so he bartered studio time with a woman who runs a house cleaning business. They come every other week and I AM LOVING IT!\r\n\r\n6. What tip can you share that you learned because you perfected a task or responsibility?\r\nNow more than ever I shop at Target and Walmart because time is of the essence and I can get almost everything in one place. I just don’t have time to drive around to a dozen different stores. Amazon is also a life saver. \r\n7. When can you take a moment during the day to appreciate all you do?\r\nLate at night when my husband is asleep upstairs and I’m sitting in the living room. I look around and think “Got through another day.”\r\n8. What can you do tomorrow to ensure you have a moment that you enjoy?\r\nNo matter how crazy things get I can always find a few minutes of enjoyment, whether it be cracking jokes with my coworkers, loving on our puppies and kitties, or taking the scenic route home from work. \r\n

Tim

Wish I could be with you tonight, but I have a second job now to help pay bills. GREAT questions so I'll live some thoughts here...\n\n1. How would you describe the caregiving grind?\nNUMBING. Little things, none of them too heavy in my case, but a bunch of them day in, day out. \n\n2. Which part of your day feels like more of a grind: Morning, afternoon, evening. Or is it all a grind?\nMorning is hardest because the demands start before I'm fully ready to engage them. Evening is second worst simply because I can't really unwind until they're done.\n\n3. What makes the grind so stressful?\nIn a typical family, work is shared. But in caregiving, while I'm doing one task, the others are just piling up, not being shared and done. So if I'm cleaning the house, shopping and meals are not being \"handled\" by my wife. My autistic son can't take out the trash. So the stress is that while I'm doing one chore, the others are filling my mind. Add to that resentment, pity party, and other energy draining, stressful feelings.\n\n4. Which tasks feel like a grind to you?\nHelping our son with his bath. He's 21. This should have been over and done with so long ago. Also meal times - I actually enjoy the cooking, but every detail is on me... menu planning, shopping, cooking, serving, clean up. No help and it becomes a grind.\n\n5. What can you do to lessen the caregiving grind?\nSometimes I can get my wife to take on a task or two. If she simply helps our son eat, even if I am doing all the rest of the meal as usual, it breaks the grinding routine and helps lessen my load. Also, and I know we've all heard it a million times, prioritize some things that strengthen you. I have a morning prayer time that I keep pushing to the front of things, rather than frittering away energy and getting frustrated by the grind of chores. It's OK to do what is important to us - exercise, hobby, whatever, for some of each day. The grind will go better if we do that.\n\n6. What tip can you share that you learned because you perfected a task or responsibility?\nMeal planning, shopping, and preparation can lead to better health. Don't stress eat \"whatever's around.\" Use the fact that meals are your job to plan and to eat healthy food and portions. It can help you lose weight and have better energy.\n\n7. When can you take a moment during the day to appreciate all you do?\nI try to say little prayers of thanks when things are done/when good things happen/when things turn out well. Puts it all in a different perspective.\n\n8. What can you do tomorrow to ensure you have a moment that you enjoy?\nBlock time for something positive on the calendar. Fill the time before it gets filled in by others!