sland_bounty-mdFirst published April 12, 2013 on

As you might know, I've started to share these postings on another site

It's a comprehensive source of information and inspiration that I recommend for those readers in either the caresharers role or anyone on the cancer treatment trail.  It is, I think, helpful to broaden perspective and realize that we are not alone.

Reflecting upon my recent interview with Denise Brown and listening again to my commentary one thing struck me right smack in the gob - I insufficiently gave credit to the many people who stood by us during the darkest moments of Katie's treatment.  If you read the article published in MetroNews last October you will recall it profiling some of those people - Nana & Bapa, Katie's brother Andrew, Katie's friend and boss (in that order) John, Katie's best friend Alex - and I needed the reminder that without them we would not have emerged from the treatment tunnel as well as we did.

So this is a bit of a make good and further acknowledgement that I think the term we should aspire to is 'caresharing'.  I am learning from new acquaintances on that there are indeed some folks who are pretty much on their own and their fortitude astounds me.  Many care for multiple people in their family.  Many face considerable personal health challenges which they somehow manage while giving so much to those they care for.

It is abundantly clear to me however that we do not take this journey on our own. We should all be travelling in the HOV lane and recognizing that our personal environments are greatly enriched when others are allowed in. Yes. ALLOWED.

There's a certain stubbornness that I think exist in men in particular wherein we figure we are islands unto ourselves and that we can manage it all.

I am here to tell you from first-hand experience that that hypothesis is fatally flawed.

What we need to learn is that to become a good caresharer we need to let people in - we need to learn how to receive and hence the link beneath. Denise has a very cool exercise on the site wherein she asks people to write in six words their description/definition of various aspects of caring. My response to her query regarding receiving was - a warming zephyr blankets with relief.

What's yours?

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Don--It's been so wonderful getting to know you. I'm really so very glad we met (although wish it was for different reasons).\r\n\r\nAnd, I love the analogy of traveling in the HOV lane. I love this: \"Our personal environments are greatly enriched when others are allowed in.\" It's also good for our caree. \r\n\r\nWishing you a full car this weekend. :)