Caring for an Elderly Parent Will Kill You Faster Than Anything

Denise

Caring for an Elderly Parent Will Kill You Faster Than Anything

Denise
In addition to running my business, I also have other jobs, including getting gigs through a speaker's bureau for Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) and Work/Life Benefit companies. I often present Lunch and Learn seminars about caregiving, stress management and work/life balance on behalf of EAPs and Work/Life Benefit company for their clients, which are employers. During the fall, I will man booths for EAPs and Work/Life Benefit companies at employers' wellness and benefits fairs.

Today, I manned a booth for an EAP at a large corporation headquartered in downtown Chicago. As usual, I chatted with the vendor next to me--a gentleman ("Bud") who sold life insurance.

During the course of our conversation, Bud began talking about caregiving. I'm not sure what led to the discussion but he shared about the family meetings he had with siblings about his mother's care, about his sister's mistaken belief that their mother's military insurance (TRICARE) would pay for nursing home care. And, then, he declared,

"Caring for an elderly parent will kill you faster than anything."

He said it emphatically, with arm movements to drive home his point. "I really mean that," he added.

He continued to talk although I had stopped listening because I was still thinking about his previous comment.

I'm always curious about your thoughts to a statement like this. What do you think? Will the caregiving experience do you in? Share your thoughts in our comments section, below.

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Denise

It’s soooo much for one person! If you work for a large company check with your Employee Assistance Program to see what programs and support services could help you.

Denise

Hi Linda, What an awful and frustrating situation for you. Call your Area Agency on Aging and speak with a social worker about how best to help your dad. You can search for the agency in your dad’s community here: https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/Index.aspx.\n\nKeep us posted and let us know what happens.

Denise

Hi Steph--Reach out to your Area Agency on Aging (AAA) to share your concerns and to get some help for your home. The agency may be able to find housing for your mom and the help she needs. You can find your local AAA here: https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/Index.aspx

Denise

Happy to help, Christine! When do the demands seem to interfere with your space for the kids?

Roberta R\n\nHi Bonnie-I am a bit late to the conversation but, have recently become a part of this community. I know how it is to feel isolated, as I have been a caregiver the majority of my life. It began with caring for a grandmother who, by today's standards and definitions, had Alzheimer's, to caring for my mother and husband basically at the same time. Though my friends would try to understand what I was going through, listening to me as I vented, eventually they're attitudes changed as this was not something they could understand. \nI do not live in a rural area. I actually live in a big city...New York City, to be exact. However, the isolation is the same. \nThough I am no longer a caregiver, please know that you can reach out to me. I am a good listener.

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