Caring for my Ma


Caring for my Ma

Today is my first blog posting. My profile profile pic is my mom and her great-grand children. Since my dad past away four years ago, I took on total responsibility of my ma: her financial, health and wellbeing and I had no clue where to begin. My first decision was to move her, my disabled sister and her daughter from their home in Brooklyn, NY to where I live in Westchester. I made that decision based on a few factors. First, the medical care is excellent. Second, the quality of life is easier and the services are better than in the city. Third, it is more convenient for my husband to drive to where my mom and sister live which allows me to be able to keep a close eye on things. I visit my mom at least twice a week. I am fortunate that my husband is retired and takes my mom to most of her doctors appts. We have her signed up for ParaTransit as a back up.

This past January, my mom fell and hit her head and knees pretty hard outside. Thankfully, the neighbors saw and called 911 who arrived promptly and took my mom to the hospital. Since her fall, we have seen a deterioration in my mom. She stays in bed most of the day, eats very little and is now a bit confused and disoriented. She had a MRI last week and is going to have a EEG this week. I made the decision that my mom can no longer go out shopping by herself and everyone in the family has to participate in her care.

My mom loves my butternut squash soup so now I make enough for her to have for two weeks. I have a cooked meal delivery service deliver meals every other week for my mom and my sister and I have food delivery from a supermarket once a week. The last item on my to do list is to find a laundry service I can call if I cant do her laundry, that picks up and deliver items that has been soiled by urine.

My mom has wonderful doctors (Westmed Medical Group) and we talk regularly about my mom. As of now we do not know what is specifically happening with my mom but she is 87 soon to be 88 and I am blessed I still have her around. Its funny but right now I feel that everything I have gone through in my life was to prepare me to care for her now. My goal is to make sure she is well cared for, that she knows we love her and are happy to care for her and that I will handle her worries and stresses asap. I have promised her I will care for her at home, so she will be surrounded by her family.

I do my mom’s laundry once a week and came up with a solution to remove urine smell. I give her a mineral salt bath twice a week and I massage her legs, back, feet and hands after I give her a bath. She really likes the feet and hand massages. I am looking forward to Denise’s essential oil class as I have incorporated the oils when I do my moms laundry and when I give her massages.

This caregiving journey I am on has opened up my heart and slowed my movements down somewhat. I pace myself around my moms rhythms now and I feel more in tune with life and others since caring for her.

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What a wonderful daughter you are. I know how hard these things are to get set up, and to try and look ahead and head off any issues. You're doing great. But a word of caution; never say never regarding having your mom live at home. Things can happen, either in your life or in your families, or in hers. Instead, what I say is actually what my mom says often, this is \"for a season.\" And as my cousin who cared for her parents advised me, \"You do it until you can't.\" That freed me up to have mom move in with me. I was so worried about the \"what-if's.\" Anyway, build in some time to do something you enjoy. Sounds like now is a good time to do that. Blessings to you!