Carols and Headsets


Carols and Headsets

I am visiting my husband today in the nursing home where he is recovering from a long illness. He has FTD (Frontotemporal Dementia) and he seemed to have lost hope and any drive to improve. Thankfully, they identified a UTI which is being treated and he is showing some improvement. He is a notorious grinch on the best of holidays and is no different here. In an earlier blog I mentioned that he said he sees and hears children in the hallway singing carols from midnight to one a.m. and that I cannot get him to change the time to noon. He said the children sing at every room door and that is enough of carols for him. So, when I came to his room and told him there were a large group of people from the local Catholic church gathered to sing carols and pass out presents he was not impressed at all. It did help that they were Catholic because he is Catholic and, even a grinch such as Robert, always pulls for his team!

As the group came down the hall the singing was louder and a guitar was being strummed. They had a gift for each resident. A young man came to the door of Robert's room and went past me to hand Robert his gift and a card. As he left the room he looked at me with that look of gentleness that only children manage at times like this and I thanked him.

Much to my surprise and of no concern to the grinch at all, the gift was a wireless headset with all the instructions, chargers, etc. for loading music onto for the resident. It is an awesome headset. Bright orange and white and the ear pads are soft and cushiony. They are made by a company for elderly people and I am charging the headset up while the grinch coughs his head off and mumbles to himself in his sleep. I cannot believe the generosity of the headset gift. I cannot believe the improvement I see in Robert and I accept the challenges I see ahead for us.

This Christmas is a particularly difficult one for my immediate family. My son and his family are struggling just to put food on the table and my grandson does not believe in Santa this year which is breaking his dad's heart and I will be here at the nursing home with Robert and then off to lunch at a Chinese restaurant with a couple of girlfriends. I find that I have the best of times when I drop all expectations and simply step through each door as it opens. This may be a gift of age as much as of wisdom. At the age of 66 I have seen a great deal of life and have been hurt and hamstrung by my expectations. I wish I could pass it on as a gift to people I love and people who are hurting so much this year. Unfortunately, I paid dearly for the lesson of letting go and I believe that it will not come until it has been paid for in broken expectations. The gift of being here and now without staring into the past or into the future is a precious gift. I pray each of you will find it and well before your 66th birthday.

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Rachel Hiles

Lark, sending you lots of love today. The headset DOES sound like an awesome gift. Hopefully you all get some use out of it!


\"I find that I have the best of times when I drop all expectations and simply step through each door as it opens.\" \r\nThat is so true! Letting go of \"Expectations\" brings freedom to be in the moment. Thanks for this wise reminder.\r\nI appreciate you and your blogs!


Lark, thank you for sharing your gentle and honest wisdom. I think so often how much I have learned from this journey and enjoying the simple things is so true. Makes me wonder how many simple things I busied myself past in my younger years. That is so awesome about the headset. What a great gift. I hope Robert gets a lot of enjoyment and peace form them. Hang in there and lots of love. Thanks for opening doors for me in this journey.