Choctaw Redundancies (Same Stuff Different Day)


Choctaw Redundancies (Same Stuff Different Day)

Department of Redundancy Department Department of Redundancy Department (Photo credit: Voxphoto)

Today, I wish for you a sense of peace that quiets your doubts, quells your worries, silences your critics and quenches fear @denise

@rainbow  I’ll come back. You have me in tears, my dear. I’m about to fly out there so we can have a coffee and talk!Bear with me while I copy paste what I want to quote, dear soul. Il, you have to take care of yourself—you matter. Yes you do!! I do too.
Caregiving can kill people.

(it does not have) to kill us~or me)

I love Nature and the interconnectedness of Nature and the Divine.

Hola Amiga

It is said

that a friend

is one

who enters

when the whole world has gone out

(something like that)

hola amiga hola amiga (Photo credit: 400dc)

O-Kaaaaaaay to quote @lisa-03. The Hola amiga pic just appeared as I was trying to figure out what I wanted to type here.  I've been having a tearful day. A lost day. An "I'm done" day. I can't change my father. I can't change the situation.  An"I have got to take care of myself" day. An "I don't have six words to describe my last temper tantrum." It's in this blog. I feel 300,000 miles away from myself right now. I can't risk landing back in the hospital day. I want the best for everyone day but if I stay here I'll lose myself again day. A nothing is better than the smile that passes between us day. A what is in the St. Peter picture that represents caregiving day.

I love the "Hola Amiga'' quote that @rainbow sent in response to my post, "Commonalities." Why do I choose the word Choctaw? I don't know. It appeared in my mind this morning along with redundancies. We care for others every day and go through the same thing over and over. We can only control ourselves. How can I take care of myself when I feel like I'm on the brink? On the brink of losing my sanity. Where do I move so all of us are safe?  I know that my father and I are driving each other nuts. I know my parents are not okay on their own and I know that at this point I've reached out to authorities who have said as long as my father has his faculties I cannot do anything but say can I help. Or, Are you okay? Or, Do you want to go to the hospital? They are falling (physically) more and more. Dad fell twice that I know of yesterday. So did Mom. I'm burning the candle at both ends and then some.

English: Water color painting by Alexandre de ... English: Water color painting by Alexandre de Batz. Choctaw, spelled as tchaktas, are painted for war holding scalps. A African child plays with a choctaw child. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

@worriedwife has said many things that are important to ponder not the least of which is how would I feel if something happened to them? Okay, trust me; the magic is working here picture after picture after picture is showing up and all of them relate to what I'm typing. Redundancy. Or is it:  empathic connection?

There, I'm done for now. I think.



¡Hola, amiga! ¡Hola, amiga! (Photo credit: Victoria Gracia)



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And again. I'm doing what I can while I'm here. I'm hearing that I'm not doing what you want me to do. I have to put the oxygen mask on myself first so that my parents are taken care of. Denise I have to go take care of myself and Mom. I did get hold of this morning. il


Il, Again, I'm looking for a plan, a strategy that includes solutions, so that your parents receive the care they need.


Denise I'm on the defense here. First I do take her to the bathroom every few hours. I encourage to to go. She is not soiled. Denise I am doing everything I can within my power or my energy. Is there more I can do . . . possibly. I have met with their social worker. I've called her to inform her. I've met with nurses. I've called my brother. I've notified the doc. My parents are resistant. You are correct in that I haven't called the Caregiver Resource. I really cannot do it all. But I can do what is 'reasonable' for me. I'm it here. I'm it when they fall. I'm it when they call for help. I'm it when Mom needs to be taken care of when Dad leaves. I have though called the \r\n\r\nif you don’t feel you can provide the care your parents need, please let me know.\r\n\r\nAnd then what. My parents want to stay in this house with care. I've talked to the nurses and the social workers about the situation. At this point I have to respect their wishes and I really hope you change your mind about posting those blogs. Up until now I have felt a place to vent frustrations, to deal with a difficult situation. Hugs, an ear. \r\n\r\nNow, it sounds like you think I'm abusing the situation? My parents? Nothing could be further from the truth.\r\n\r\nMy hope here? That this is still a place I can vent so that I can help as much as I can within my means. These blogs are for me imperative to doing the things you are suggesting.\r\n\r\nThank you for your concern, Denise.\r\n\r\nil


Denise, I just called the Alz hotline again and it took about 20 minutes to get through. I understand your concern for Mom and hope that we can clear up that I am unbelievably concerned for her as well. Per the person I spoke to it depends on when you call the Alz association. They also said I'm doing as much as I can here. Between bathing Mom, checking her underwear, making suggestions to Dad that he keep her sheets clean, calling her Social Worker and her doctor I heard that I'm doing as much as I can with the situation at hand. I hope this clears up any misunderstanding. Off to see how Mom is doing again.\r\nAlways,\r\nil


OK my response will be in the next blog. il

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