Closure for a Ghost


Closure for a Ghost

cloud-143152_640Earlier this week, I mentioned my family's secret--that my father's father had left when my dad was 7 and his brother, 11.

My dad rarely spoke about his father. I learned more of the story of his father from my dad's cousin, Dick, who I visited when I was 28. During the visit, Dick spoke about my grandmother, her "difficulty" (she was really difficult to get along with) and shared the story of how my grandfather left. My grandmother, father and uncle attended a family get-together. My grandmother's brother-in-law gave them a ride home. They entered an empty home, except for the note my grandfather left. My father never saw his father again.

My father did tell us stories about his childhood--about his grandmother, his uncles and aunts and his cousins. He also shared stories about  the family members who had died who would come back for visits. A rocking chair rocked--that was his grandmother. Perfume filled the air--that was his grandmother again.

About 14 years ago, I would regularly wake up in the middle of the night to a vision of a man standing at the foot of my bed. I could make out his shape but not his face. One time, I woke up because I could the presence kneeling by me, gazing at my face.

I would wake up, terrified and shout, "Who's there?"

The vision visited me in my apartment, when I house-sat at my sister's home. He followed me for a few years.

After my grandmother's death (read "Making Amends at 95"), my uncle shared some old photos with my dad that he had found in my grandmother's things. My parents made copies of these old photos--photos of my father as a young boy--for myself and my siblings.

My parents gave me copies of these photos during lunch on a warm, summer day at a pizza place near my apartment. I looked through the photos. And then it hit me.

"This is the man who visits me," I said. I pointed to my dad's father, present in the photos, holding my dad's hands.

My dad didn't ask many questions or share many thoughts--but he looked peaceful as I shared about the visits. And, then we talked about why my grandfather visits and what I answers I could give him. He obviously visits because he has questions, we decided.

And, so, for several nights, I silently told my grandfather, "We are all okay. We love you and miss you. We all are okay and forgive you."

My grandfather no longer visits. Closure isn't just for the living.

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Denise, This is a very touching story. My deceased grandparents often \"visit\" me in dreams. Sometimes they are peaceful, sometimes more ominous, but I always find it interesting how we connect with those who've passed. Thank you for sharing.


I am assuming your Grandfather had passed or the family assumed he had passed at some point? What a sweet way to end the visitations!