typewriter-1022893_640In an experience that can seem so clinical, it's interesting how much you have to compose.

You compose yourself as you hear what you dread.

You compose yourself as you bite back tears you wish you could shed.

You compose yourself as you fight the fears that want to take over.

You compose yourself rather than say what is so tempting to say: "I quit!"

These kind of compositions, though, aren't music to your ears. It's so hard to be composed, so exhausting to come up with the energy required to be composed. And, honestly, it's frustrating to be the one who must always be composed.

When you can, compose. When you can't, hide in the bathroom to sing the blues. Belt out the dramatic operas in your pillow. Star in your one-act pity party in the basement. Tap out your novella of complaints on your laptop in the corner. Beat out your frustrations as you dance through the house.

You have to let it out. After you do, you'll feel better keeping your composure out there in the world.

Know, though, that we know the effort that goes into your composure. Know we applaud you.



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It does feel good just thinking about that Sally....I love it! (Imagery is a useful tool.) \r\n\r\nA lot of energy goes into keeping composure in caregiving situations and energy used stuffing feelings. \r\nIt reminds me of a pressure cooker I left unattended once. IT BLEW....& OMG, what a mess exploded out. It could have been avoided, had I been tending to it.


Reading this reminded me of a day I was ready to blow up at my boss and say, I QUIT, even though I needed the part time job that I did mostly at home while caring for my MIL. I managed to bite my round, then next time I saw him in face to face meeting, I asked him if he would give a day or two if ever I said those words. He smiled and said, you were close the other day weren't you... He knows me well and is the most understanding boss ever.