Confessions of a First-Time Caregiver - Part 9


Confessions of a First-Time Caregiver - Part 9

notes-514998_640The New, New Normal

In my last drama-filled blog entry, I left you, dear reader, with several burning questions:

Is my brother ever coming back? Yes.
Can Mom and I actually take care of Dad on our own? Mom and I did a spectacular job taking care of Dad on our own, with some sprinkled in help from Sis, which brings us to...
Will my sister prove her worth? Yes, she did, but with a couple glitches...

My sister's ETA of Thursday night was rescinded and became Friday morning...which ended up being Friday afternoon. I recognized what was happening early on, so I decided to get some work done. She arrived just in time to take Dad to his three-in-a-row therapies or else I would have had to stop working and take him. Since I had the house to myself for several hours, I continued to work rather than get on the road to go home and work. I decided to stay yet another night. I got up early Saturday morning and had two full days (not 3 as promised) at home, and returned Monday at noon.

One thing that has been constant for us in these three months since Dad's stroke is everything is always changing. While my brother was away for the week at his home in Georgia, he texted me to see how things were and to inform me that he would be working a full-time job when he returned. He even consulted me on what hours I thought would be best, 3pm - 11pm or 11pm - 7am. Talk about progress! We agreed on 3 p.m. to 11 p.m.

I'm a big scenario person. Give me a situation and I run as many plausible outcomes through my brain as I possibly can. Here's what those hours will mean:

  • I will have to take Dad to his therapies, three times a week with as many as three therapies per day. Three hours, door-to-door.

  • Even though we alternate sleeping downstairs with Dad in case he gets up in the night, Brother won't get home until 11:30 pm. Dad's bedtime is 8:30 p.m. Somebody's going to have to be down there with him; Me.

  • Any personal errands or week-time leisure activities (ha!) will have to be done before 2 p.m. A couple evenings, when I had some down time from work and chores, I "treated" myself to a mall run. I've fantasized about hitting the only 2 interesting restaurants around here. Dream on.

  • I won't be able to leave for my weekend respite until Saturday morning -- but I'm not mad about that! Leaving at on Friday evening and returning Sunday evening felt disjointed.

What I hope will happen is my brother will get Dad up and bathed in the morning since Mom and I will be doing everything else for the rest of the day. Even with my two days off, this may sound a bit lopsided, but my Mom and I -- together, alone -- are a well-oiled machine. She had some moments of frustration with Dad last week, but I hopped in and had her back. I had a lot of work, and she made sure I had the time to get it all done. And my sister will still be filling in while I'm back home. So, yeah, I'm liking this. This will work! I can't wait!

Oh, but wait...Brother just told me he declined the position and is waiting on something else.


Nothing stays the same.

Like this article? Share on social


Sign in to comment


Oh! Isn't the truth during caregiving! You plan and the plans are just absolutely amazing. And, then bam!, the plan go out the window. \r\n\r\nOne thing about your bother: He gives you great content for your blog. :)


Hi Mike, I'm a big scenario type person as well so I get where you are coming from. I loved that you answered the burning questions. And your ever optimistic view of your brother's help warms my heart. The new, new normal really is that nothing stays the same. Thanks for sharing your stories, change is never easy. xo