Continuous Learning

Don

Continuous Learning

Don
notes.svg.medFirst published March 7, 2012 on facingcancer.ca

Recently wrote to a new-found friend that while I could count on the fingers of one hand using a very few digits the number of good things that have happened since Katie’s diagnosis last October – she was one.

I met Alex through this blog and last week we met in person.  That’s a mutual leap of faith right there but here’s the cool thing about the blogosphere – if the blogger is honest and open in their blogging you get a pretty good sense of what they’re all about.  Frankly, how one expresses oneself through the written word is often a pretty good indication of personality.

So, where was I?

While I have been somewhat extroverted in exploring the support universe during Katie’s cancer trek, it has been a challenge to find completely relevant and insightful resources.  To that end, I recently was loaned a book (with the best of intentions I know) entitled ‘Breast Cancer Husband’. While I hate to be critical of anyone making any effort at all to shed light on the plight of the co-pilot I found this book to be alarmingly Neanderthal.  It offered such profound insights as “sometimes your partner might just need a hug.  Offer them freely.”

Well doh!  Are most men so completely bereft of compassion that we need to be directed to be supportive?  Further, it offered, “you may want to attend chemotherapy sessions with your partner.”  Gee, ya think so?

However, it is too easy to wallow about in criticism when I am confident that most people writing of the caregiver position are well intended.  And, if I’m gonna take shots at someone who went to the considerable effort to get their thoughts published with all the best intentions maybe I should be a little more diligent in recording and sharing some of my learning from the past several months.

That’s what I’m going to do.  I am making a commitment here to record more of my learning and share it with you.  Then, when I make a Neanderthal remark you are most welcome to call me on it and help me in my quest for continuous learning.

Is that a deal?

What was the small mercy?  Alex shared some incredibly useful insight with me and she’s the first person with whom my beautiful wife is striking up a relationship and that has large implications for progressing positively.

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