Different Words, But the Same Song

Lisa

Different Words, But the Same Song

Lisa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7nGxcQnn0g

For many years before I was caregiving I had to commute to other towns to work. In our small town, there aren't a lot of jobs to be found, but the cost of living is better than in the areas where I worked, so it always seemed to be a trade off.

For 20 years or more I drove at least 25 to 45 miles one way to work. Dad used to tease me with an old Country song called, "I'm Looking At My World Through A Windshield." Well the title certainly fit me for a very long time. I still think of my time in the workforce and those drives every day often. The time on the road wasn't bad actually. My car has a great radio, I'd use the time for prayers sometimes, I'd always leave early enough to stop by Starbucks on my way in to work (5 minutes away--sigh--miss terribly). Sometimes after work on the way home I met friends for dinner, even did the majority of my grocery shopping so my weekends were basically free.

Now that I've been caregiving for going on seven years, the lyrics need to be adjusted to fit the change. I was thinking earlier today that the lyrics should be "I'm Looking At The World Through My Window." Just changing two words explains how my life has drastically changed. Many days I don't leave my home. The only time I go outside is to pick up the mail here lately due to the heat. In my living room there's what we call here a "picture window" and from where I sit when I use my laptop, I can look straight out at the world. We live on a street that has become very busy so there's lots of traffic. All kinds of cars, zooming by. When school starts it's worse due to parents getting the kids to school on time. Everyone in a rush, you have to wonder what they're thinking. Or I do.

I think caregiving can give us all a sense of abandonment from time to time. You feel like the worlds still turning but you're still in the same place, unable to move forward. I have lots to keep me busy everyday with caring for Dad, the household to manage, oh and starting back to school in the fall (very soon). But when I sit in front of this window it's hard not to stare, to daydream of a place I'd like to go, or even some little thing I'd like to do. It's a hard existence for us all. We do our best in caring for others, and self-care many times is very limited to what we can have and plan.

But, we all have a window to look through to give ourselves a little time.

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