"Do You Mind?"


"Do You Mind?"

A friend asked me that question last week. Specially, she asked, "Do you mind being the one in your family who does the most to help your parents?"

She asked during a difficult moment when she's doing the heavy lifting to help her grandparents while the rest of the family conveniently disappears. She was venting and close to tears as she expressed her sadness and exasperation that so many just left her holding the caregiving bag.

I thought for a few seconds before responding. I have four siblings and one has removed herself from the family during a terrible caregiving crisis in August of 2015. Even given that, I do not mind because the other three siblings are so awesome and supportive. I also know they do their best, which means so much to me. So, I answered honestly, "No, I don't mind."

(I did add that I mind more in my professional work as I am bombarded by requests by individuals who want more and more from me. "Can you move my conference session to a better time?" "Can I be a conference presenter even though I missed the (well-promoted) deadline to submit?" "Can you use my photo instead of that other presenter's?" "Can you promote me and all my work at the conference, on your podcast, on your website"?)

I also do my best to visit an aunt every week and I provide respite for a former neighbor on Friday nights by sitting with her 96-year-old sister while she plays bingo. Honestly, if I minded any of it, it might be my Friday night gig with Phyllis simply because the week is long and I'm ready for my own break on Friday nights. But, once I get to Phyllis' house and we start our routine of range-of-motion exercises, ice cream and cards, I completely enjoy it.

I do no mind helping and taking care.

How about for you? Do you mind? (And, it's okay if you do.)

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In the very beginning, I did mind. I would get the kind words of \"When are you going to move closer so we can help?\" Or \"You are so strong, not many would have stayed by his side.\" Yes, it made me more than angry. Then I realized that I was the one that was chosen to do this. I am the one he put his faith in to be there when he needed me. Now, No, I do not mind. Every now and then, when I am overwhelmed, it will sneak in. He was my life before the accident and he is my life now. I believe that there is a purpose in the path that I have been given

Lillie Fuller

I don't mind. It's who I've ALWAYS been. I guess it runs through my blood. It's my challenge.


I totally get that, Babs. Of course you would mind when you give up so much in such an unkind environment. It’s not fair. You deserve more and you deserve better.