EXTREME Caregiving: Still Trying to Take Care of Me


EXTREME Caregiving: Still Trying to Take Care of Me

dummy-92579_640Reassessing and setting more clear boundaries really really helped. My Mom rocks! I'd say for any caregiver they must do it, even if they are the only ones caregiving--reassess during any down time they have. Take a day or two and during any free moment make sure you are also taking care of YOU.  Even when my kids were little (I have three, all close in age 24, 23 and 21 now) I still always read a book or did my quilting, fought for my ME time, so if I could get lost, anyone can!

We also had the amazing coincidence of SIL getting better when I stepped back. Same medications (I was still giving them to her) same everything. lol Maybe not such a coincidence?  As soon as I got home from school yesterday where she'd been fine all day she started seeing things i.e., a blonde girl, a big dog and someone named Leopold. Perhaps she doesn't feel comfortable telling my mom but.....I don't know! Then she got mad because I was 'placating' her by changing the subject. Where we'd spend too much time before showing her no one's there, I just let her look for 10 minutes and then bedtime.

But today is a different story. For the last hour and a half she's had me up and down every seven minutes, she wants her robe on, she wants it off, wants help laying down, now cover her, now she's up, I want soda, I found a pill on the floor (no pill) pour my soda (already poured), my stomach feels weird. I want my dogs in, get the other bad dog out (no dog) She actually said tie her robe quickly! Hahah My mom caught me...oops! SIL went too far! She was with mom all day yesterday while I was at school and no problem doing all these things. I do baby her at times but not to this extent!

Sooooo... Yet again Mom to the rescue! As the day went on, she calmed down with Mom. It's going to be really difficult to reach a balance. When someone is this ill, you want to be there and do what you can, but as she continues to rebound, we can't keep in panic mode. Amazingly she's better on hospice than she's been in months and months. Her appetite has improved so much. All she used to do is drink coke and eat sweets; now she's eating real meals.

Medications are still a constant balance, but the tap dance is working for now. She's still up half the night but we're trying to at least calm her from the hallucinations and talk to her and keep her from pacing. she sure keeps everyone on their toes! It's like a willful 3-year-old who wants independence like a teenager but is frail like a 90-year-old. But some of her personality is coming through again, it's so weird. she's awake and alert and having conversations again, but the hallucinations are back. She's talking but the pain is worse from arthritis, so pain management is hard because you want to manage it, but don't want to lose her again. You want to baby her but don't want her to lose being able to do things for herself.

Thanks for the read and allowing me to get this out! Helps so much to share my experiences with people who know what it's like!

Like this article? Share on social


Sign in to comment


Haha, she's my MOM, of course I take her advice....she will also sic my aunts n cousins on me :) hubby also on board, &amp; my kids.....but with mom, well...she's not going to take no for an answer on this one.<a href='http://www.caregiving.com/members/worriedwife/' rel=\"nofollow\">@worriedwife</a> I think blogging right now is saving my sanity! <a href='http://www.caregiving.com/members/lilmagill/' rel=\"nofollow\">@lilmagill</a> that's the hard part, what's too much?


It is great that you have your mom for backup! I'm glad you don't have to do this all by yourself. The balancing act is so hard - I definitely struggle with similar decisions about how much to do for my mom, even though her condition is not as bad.


Hi HSG--I love how open you are to suggestions from your mom. Just as we are in danger of doing too much, we also can be in danger of doing it our way, no matter what. The land mines of caregiving!! There are so many. :)\r\n\r\nWishing you and your family a good weekend and a lovely Valentine's Day.

Lillie Fuller

Thank you for sharing... and thank you for taking the time to read and comment my blog posts. It sure makes a difference just knowing we are not in this journey alone. We all have our different situations but are all of one kind.