Facing Transitions


Facing Transitions

hands-269273_640I'm Don, and my sweetie Elsie is moving deeper into her dementia slowly, day by day. I look back on last New Years and compare her abilities to this year's end and I wonder how long we will have together. Oh how I want this final honeymoon to last, but I must face the reality of change. Even though the future is full of uncertainly we have to hold on to the concept that we both have today. The important thing is that we make the most of the time we have left.

I follow the Buddhist philosophy of avoiding attachment.  I am well aware of the pain associated with not letting go. My mind tells me that nothing is permanent and it is futile to try and hold on to this moment. Change is going to happen, to her and to me. I must adjust, just as she is adjusting in her own special way. It is intriguing to consider where she goes when she gets that blank stare, or struggles to do a simple task. So far the love and trust have brought her back from where she went but someday soon it may not. Then what?

I have to let these feelings go, and focus on giving (and accepting) basic unconditional love on our final honeymoon. I must hang on to the old song that says if you must take your love from me, take it gradually. Let me love you to the last.

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Don, I admire your outlook and compassion for your wife. I know yours is a true love story.


I love your reminder to all of us that holding on too tight keeps us in pain.\r\n\r\nI'm wishing you and Elsie many, many moments of love and joy.


This will sound sappy but your posts always make me picture 'The Notebook\". There is no limit to the tenderness and love; it just goes on forever and only gets deeper with each passing day. A beautiful story, thank you so much for including us on the journey.


Don, the love and trust you have for your wife will be enough for what will come. You have everything you need. You are doing everything right. No matter where she is in her journey, she will understand \"I love you\". Thank you for sharing this time with us.