Finding the Help I Didn't Want to Need


Finding the Help I Didn't Want to Need

hand-489514_640We all need help sometimes
I would much rather be the helper than the helpee. Like, to a fault. Perhaps you can identify with this.

But, over the past 11 years of my wife’s struggle with Dermatomyositis, I have found the help I didn’t want to need in the form of:

  • a kind and newly widowed lady who insisted on bringing us food in the early weeks of my wife’s illness.

  • an oil and gas company owner and his gracious wife who came to our home to keep our baby and toddler in the middle of the night so my wife could take me to the emergency room with a kidney stone.

  • my parents driving an hour and a half twice a week to help with our young children.

  • my in-laws opening their home to us when my wife experienced a second health crash.

  • meals and kind words from numerous friends several times per year when my wife receives IVIG infusion therapy.

  • encouraging words and good breakfast with a man who understands and is 25 years older than I am.

  • and about 50 other such examples.

I am ferociously independent. So, my first reaction is to resist advice, help, or direction. But, every time I find the help I didn’t want to need, I am grateful.

Worth Repeating

Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart.
-Brene Brown

Like this article? Share on social


Sign in to comment


I can identify with this, Bruce. And it does take courage to go against our nature to accept help. This reminds me of what a friend told me she learned when her young son was battling leukemia. She realized that her family and friends, also devastated by her son's illness, had a need to help. She learned that allowing them to do things for her and her family was giving them a gift also.