steps-388914_640We may so fear the future that we unknowingly give up our present.

We may fear a future fall or decline or crisis. So, we stop, we stay in one spot--right next to our caree--with hopes we can prevent that future.

But, the future will happen. The future still arrives.

And, think how much harder the future will be for us when we're still stuck in our fear. Imagine how we'll feel when the future hits us and we still live in a world that no longer exists. Consider our shock when we understand, no matter what we did, we couldn't prevent the arrival of our future fear.

Living our caree's life while letting our life go creates a dynamic that causes the greatest harm. We can't stop the natural cycle of life. We can't prevent our caree's future by stopping ours.

We can, however, prepare for it.

We prepare by doing our best to keep our carees as safe as possible as we also understand we can't possibly keep them safe every hour of every day. We prepare by keeping a life, as often as we can, separate from our caregiving responsibilities.

The future happens. When that future arrives, we can manage with the comforting knowledge that we did our best and with our own life's possibilities to build on.

You can provide the best care possible for your caree. And, you can live your life.

You can.

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Denise,\nYou are so right about this. It is so easy to live the life of your caree and forget about your own. I tried to do this when I was helping my mom. I didn't want to think about her dying but I knew I couldn't stop it. About 2 years into taking care of her I knew I had to try and build my own life. It wasn't easy because you feel like all of your time should be with them. I did start trying to make a new life for myself and it did help when mom died. I still feel lost but I have kept my friends so I haven't lost out on my life. It is hard to do, but you have to. Your caree would want you to continue with your life and be happy. Think about it that way.\n\nAnita