How do I Handle This? He's Been Working Hard All Day

Sue

How do I Handle This? He's Been Working Hard All Day

Sue
toolbox-306888_640My poor dear husband has recently started telling me about all the work he is doing on our house--cleaning the gutters, scraping paint from the siding - and that he had a busy day.

None of this is happening of course, except in his mind. He seems well pleased with his busy day and at peace.

It makes me want to weep-- I listen and don't say much. Is this the right thing to do?  Correcting him would be cruel I think.

What do all of you do about this?

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LilMagill

It's so hard to enter the alternate reality, though! Maybe it gets easier with practice. I hope so!

Hussy

I know this is hard for you, but it put a smile on my face when I read how pleased your husband is. In his mind he is contributing to your partnership and \"doing his share\" and I love that he gets to feel that way.

Sue

Thank you Jenn, Yolanda and Denise - I like your suggestions to focus on his enjoyment for the present moment rather than what I have been doing, which was to focus on what is lost - switching perspective is a great suggestion - Thanks a lot! and just imagine how many things will get done around here too:)

Denise

Hi Sue--Because he's happy, I would say enjoy his happiness. The advice is often to enter their reality--your husband's reality. Focus on his emotions--he's proud of what's accomplished so focus on being proud of him, too. You are already proud of him so this is a nice way to express that to him.\r\n\r\nI also think it's important to focus on what you need. What will help you cope? What helps you heal when these situations break your heart? It's good to understand what can help you, too.\r\n\r\nI hope this helps!

yolanda

I agree with Jenn if it's not harming him let him continue to think he is working. I myself find it hard not to correct my grandmother especially when she insists she lives at the other house (there is no other house) but I'm getting better. Hope you find info or support you're looking for.

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