How Do We Manage It All?


How Do We Manage It All?

Can we manage it all? For me, most days do not feel like I am handling it all. I get lost in the bills, laundry, dishes, groceries, and kid's activities. I get lost in the appointments for my mom, her paperwork, prescriptions, pills, trip home for my brother, fielding phone calls as guardian and caregiver. I get lost in the desire to see the rest of my family, friends, my aunt, and ill grandmother. I get lost in trying to maintain a relationship with my boyfriend and finding time for date nights. Here is how I felt this weekend. I am lost in the sea of things to do in my life.

But here is the thing, I don't just work in my life, I want to work on my life.

I have goals and dreams. I never used to have those. I used to live week to week, paycheck to paycheck. I was hiding in excuses, my victim story, and alcohol. I used to be so busy complaining about how my circumstances prevented me from working on my life, and all I could do was work in my life.

About five years, I slowly started to re-write my story and started dreaming. It was challenging since I never really had a one year plan, let alone a 5-10 year plan. Now I do. Little by little, day by day, through caregiving, working, and mothering, I built on my dream, and I am still growing. We all deserve to have a vision for ourselves.

How do we do this through the craziness of our caregiving life?

Well, first, I throw a proverbial baby fit, sit in my dirty diaper, and cry. I am trying to tell anyone that will listen to how overwhelming my life is. Then when I realize no one cares or is even looking, I get up, clean my self up, and take a step forward.

I do what I call a brain dump. I get everything all out on paper. I mean everything that is taking up space in my head. I have extensive wall post-it notes. Sometimes I will write on it for a day or two, so I know that everything is out.

Then I organize it. What to do with my mom? What to do with my brother? What do I need to do for my children? What do I need to do for my relationship?

Now go back and take a look.

What must be done today, tomorrow and this week? Not everything needs attention today.

This process can be overwhelming but stick with it. It does work.

Then break it down into categories. Again, what must be done today, tomorrow, this week later this month? What is one thing you can do today to work towards your dream? Do you have a goal of losing weight? Try making sleep your focus for the next two weeks. Write down each day how much you get and start there. Do you want to do a project? What supplies do you need? Then put it on your calendar. Now, once it is on your schedule, you are not going to want to do it. You MUST do it!
We must push ourselves to stick the schedule no matter what. Now I hear what you are saying! "I am so tired after a day of caregiving I just can't do one more thing." These are your goals and dreams we are talking about here! It is one mini thing a day.

We deserve the time and effort it takes. Then each day, you do one, mini task for you. Let's do this together. What is one thing you can do today for your goals and dreams? Let's support each other!

I will go first.

Today, I wrote to you all of you. I will be honest and let you know writing is not my forte, but it is the only way I can connect to all of you. I also posted a blog on my website,, and took a walk. Now, I will clean the house and do my family's laundry, oh, and get the taxes ready to be paid! Mini steps.

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