I Almost Think it Would be Easier If...


I Almost Think it Would be Easier If...

Some days I almost think it would be easier if she was sicker than she is.

As it stands, she's cognizant enough to be difficult to distract, "oh look a squirrel!" options here.

Playing music which is supposed to be soothing and helpful for folks with dementia doesn't work because by God we simply MUST have the stupid TV on during all waking hours. When I put my foot down to have the radio on for the NPR Saturday morning shows (Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, etc) there is inevitably a HUGE battle with lots of panicky breathing and "No!' yelling etc. Be nice if I could distract her with something else then.

Art is also good therapy but no. She's right handed and has horrible tremors in that hand to the point where the hand is all but useless now, even though she insists on trying to use it resulting in spilled everything all over the place. Had purchased an adult coloring book and colored pencils before it got bad - she never even opened them.

Would like to get her outside for fresh air. But that's too far from the TV and unless she has the TV to watch she simply won't sit still and just breathe.

Yet when she "watches" TV she is up about every 5 to 10 minutes because of some imagined issue with her cat. The cat who is afraid to come out of the bedroom - in part because why should she when Mom is up and at her every 5 to 10 minutes? My cats want to go in and visit with her but no, any one of mine go anywhere near the door to the room and up goes Mom putting a stop to it. It's been two months and these fuzzies have not even begun to get used to each other. They have to work it out themselves but she won't let it happen. Meanwhile I have a stinky litter box on the main floor instead of in the basement with the rest of them. No matter how frequently you clean them, they still stink. But then so does she, but that's another story. So every time Mom jumps up my nerves jump.

I have to wonder if she were not to aware if some of this would be easier. Of course I get that there are trade-offs. She doesn't really have any physical issues beyond the tremors. She's not on a bunch of medications. These are good things. But the rest is driving me nuts.

I don't think she is reading any more -- I think she's masking. Case in point: Yesterday she received her AARP magazine. She had it "read" in 10 minutes. Uh-huh. Looking at the pictures sure, maybe the headlines but when she's reading the paper there doesn't seem to be any reading going on. And too if she was reading the paper she wouldn't be so startled by the same story on the TV news.


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