I used to tell my mom everything and now I'm keeping so much from her. I see a counselor once a month, and she is usually a "dermatology appointment" or a "private student." I have conversations about her with family members behind her back. I had "a meeting at work" today when I went to see my mom's (and my) doctor to talk about Mom's "mild cognitive impairment." I shared my cousin's observations ("we're worried about your mother's memory") and asked about the next steps in diagnosis and treatment. I also asked if there was a driving evaluation for seniors.

In answer to the first question, she is going to call Mom tomorrow and ask her to go off her cholesterol medicine for a month (simvastatin) to rule that out as a cause. She's also going to refer her to a neurologist. She said, after listening to me and thinking for a bit, "If it was my mother, I would want her to see a neurologist." So now something else is going to happen. I really hope it isn't too frightening or upsetting to her.

In answer to the second question, she told me about a driving assessment for seniors that is done through the occupational therapy department of the local hospital. The good news is that it does exactly what I need, all the way to revoking the license if necessary. The bad news is that it's private pay and costs around $500. So it's not as easy an option as I'd hoped. But the doctor said that based on what she's seen and what I've said, it doesn't sound like driving is an urgent problem to be fixed right now. She thinks it's a good idea for me to go with her when Mom tries driving again, but does not feel like she needs to intervene and stop her from driving. She's had to do that for other patients and will, if she thinks it's necessary.

So Mom will get this call tomorrow about the simvastatin and the neurologist and (I hope) will tell me about it, and I'll have to act like it's news. Part of me feels guilty for doing this behind my mother's back. I hope it is the right thing to push for more testing...