I Am No Longer a Caregiver

Meryl

I Am No Longer a Caregiver

Meryl
dovesHi everyone.  I know I haven't been here in a really long time but just wanted everyone to know that my mom passed away last Monday.  Mom had suffered for many years with so many illnesses and her body finally had enough. I am at a loss to try and figure out what to do with all the time I have on my hands now.  There is just empty spaces and nothing to do, no phone calls, nothing. I stuck by my mother's side every step of the way even until the end.

The service was beautiful last week. I got up the courage to speak and everyone loved my speech. It came from the heart and I wanted everyone to know, especially my brother, that my mother was not weak and that her biggest strengths came from her struggle to survive. We buried her last Thursday. That was the hardest day of my life.  Saying goodbye to someone who was not only my mother but also like my baby as I took care of her for so many years.

Now I am struggling to find peace in my life. I know my mother suffered and I am grateful she is not anymore but I don't know how to deal with this loss.

I have been going for counseling for the past year as I needed something face to face to deal with the issues. I decided to go for grief counseling to help me deal with this loss.

I miss my mom so much. I miss our visits and talks every day. I have such a big hole in my heart that can never be filled again.

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