I Don’t Know How to Handle the Loss of My Mom

Meryl

I Don’t Know How to Handle the Loss of My Mom

Meryl
droplets-195841_640It's been a little over two months since my mom passed away and the grief has been so overwhelming.  I miss my mom so much and I took care of her for so many years that now there's nothing but anger, depression, hardly any phone calls.

I pick myself up every day and go to work and do what I need to do but it's becoming a struggle sometimes to get out of bed.

I just don't know how to handle this.

I find myself fine one minute and then crying out of nowhere.

I hate having these feelings.

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3 Comments

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Jo Rozier

Dear Meryl, I was touched by your post and am so sorry for your loss. Its been a long time since I've been on Caregiving.com but in addition to caregiving my journey includes multiple losses of close family members. As Cathy mentioned, your post perfectly describes what many of us have gone through, the anger, depression, feelings of abandonment. It is common to say that time heals, and to an extent that is true. Time gives you opportunity to grieve and ultimately to get stronger. With time, thoughts which conjure raw pain right now become sources of warm memories. \r\n\r\nKeep posting here or take up Denise' offer of writing on Aftergiving.com. Vent as much as you need and want. It is amazingly cathartic. Expect that your love of life will return one day.

Casandra Porter

Meryl, \r\n\r\nI am sending you many hugs and prayers. Losing a parent is devastating and losing one that you have been caring for seems to be all the more worse. In March, it will be two years since I've lost my father. I was his sole caregiver at the time and the hardest part for me is being there for so many of his hospitalizations and problems, I was not there when he passed on. I kicked myself every day for a while believing that I should have or could have done something different to change the outcome. And I am not over it because I went from one tragic loss to another stressful caregiving situation taking care of my husband. \r\n\r\nIn time, like with all things, it will get a little easier every day to get out of bed and do those things you need to and those things you love. \r\n\r\nI am incredibly sorry for your loss and hope you find the support you need to help you through this time. \r\n\r\nSincerely, \r\nCasandra

Denise

Hi Meryl--I am so sorry. Grieving is just tough and so is the loss of your caregiving role. You're adjusting to both significant changes and heartbreaking emptiness. It's understandable that you would be at a loss as to how to deal with the loss. The finality of the end can really take your breath away.\r\n\r\nPlease come join us on AfterGiving.com. The site is much smaller but you can blog (like you do here) and share with others who understand the struggle. \r\n\r\nThinking of you Meryl and wishing you much gentleness tonight.