"I Have Reservations"


"I Have Reservations"

Last August, when it became clear my dad could no longer manage at home (even with me at home with him), my brother and I made arrangements for a respite stay for him. When my mom moved from the hospital to a facility for a rehab stay, I chose a facility that had an assisted living section that offered respite stays -- just in case. The "just in case" happened soon after my mom's arrival when we moved my dad into my mom's room and, a week later, into an apartment in the facility's assisted living section.

When we mentioned the idea of my dad moving from the house to the facility, he immediately began packing his bag. He couldn't leave fast enough.

Yesterday, I sat with my dad as the movers rolled furniture out of their apartment in the retirement community. "Are you excited to move into the new apartment?" I asked.

He sat, expressionless. Finally, he answered, "I have reservations."

Earlier, he sat with my brother. "I hope we're doing the right thing," he said to my brother. My brother later said my dad was upset as he said good-bye to the staff and other residents.

My mom explained to my sister that my dad experienced shortness of breath on Thursday night as they walked their frozen food to the new apartment. (Their apartment is across the street from the retirement community.) My dad's shortness of breath was a problem at home. It disappeared once he left the house.

My mom, on the other hand, is ecstatic to be living in such a beautiful apartment. In this beautiful apartment, they now will be responsible for doing and organizing everything. Or, I should say, my siblings and I will be helping my parents manage the responsibility of living on their own.

I have such a feeling of doom about this move. My siblings encourage me to think positive and to hope for the best.

I guess I'm positive my parents will not be able to manage in the apartment and that the stress of living in the apartment will soon take its toll on my dad's health. I'm positive I see another move in the not-too-distant future.

My parents, though, may prove me wrong. Time will tell.

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