I'm at a Loss

Barbara

I'm at a Loss

Barbara
I got a letter in the mail on Oct. 25th from my aunt.  She asked me if I could get ahold of my mother.  My aunt says that my mother has been having issues with a neighbor in her   apartment building where she lives, who is spreading rumors that my mother does drugs and is bothering my mother.  My mother ends up leaving and going to a motel.   My aunt says that my mother is afraid of this man, is afraid that he will not let her move out, always wants to know what is going on and what she has.   My aunt is asking me if I can help out.

 This is not the first time that my mother has complained about someone spreading rumors about her. This is the 4th time in about 25 years and  has been an ongoing problem.  I reported this current  complaint to my mothers Elder Care agency and to the Elder Abuse Unit in my state.  I wrote to my mother asking for more information, like the name of this man, his apartment number, time frame of how long this man has been bothering her, the motel that she goes to, her landlords name and address, her doctors name and address, her caseworkers name and her social security number.   I told my mother that I reported this to the authorities and that I need this info for when they contact me.   I also told her that she should be telling her landlord about this and not my aunt. 

 My aunt can not do anything  about people bothering my mother. People bother her and spread rumors about her using drugs, because my mother looks like she uses drugs even though she does not. My mother has mental and medical issues going on and does not go to see a doctor to get help. Every time the professionals get involved and go visit her she does not answer her phone nor her door.  She is going to be 79 on Nov. 3rd.   My mother has a housekeeper that goes to her apartment.  If my mother will not or does not give me the info I need, there is nothing I can do. 

I have told these professional people that my mother needs help, psychiatric help/evaluation, and they say that 'unless she is a danger to herself, there is nothing they can do'. This has been going on  for years, her considering moving will not solve the problem, because no matter where she goes people will always say and think that she uses drugs.  I can not help my mother. My mother has got to want to help herself and she does not want to help herself.    

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Michelle

It must be heartbreaking to know that your mother is in need of help and not be able to help or even to convince her to seek help from the right source.