In Sickness and in Health But Why Does Sickness Have to be so Gut-Wrenching?


In Sickness and in Health But Why Does Sickness Have to be so Gut-Wrenching?

A family caregiver broke. It happens. And it happened in my community. A husband who cares for his wife and son tried to kill his wife with a hammer.

It is heartbreaking. You cannot predict what the breaking point will be and when it will happen. But it does.

When I first heard the story I assumed, like many, that the accused was the one that had a possible mind altering disease (dementia or Alzheimer's) because it was so hard to conceive his actions. As more of the story unfolded, it was told that he had been the caregiver for his wife with dementia for seven years.

Did you hear that? Seven years! Dementia. An 88-year-old husband, caring his 86-year-old wife with dementia. Married for 60 years. And, they cared for their adult, blind son.

This story kept awake for two nights. When I couldn't lay in bed any longer, I got out of bed and headed to my computer and started typing an email to send to the local TV stations and newspaper.

Someone has to speak up. So I volunteered myself. Martin Luther once said, “You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say." 

In my email I pleaded, begged and implored the journalists to tell the OTHER side of the story. The Caregiver's Story!

I had a local TV station reach out and request an interview and I am so grateful. It has started the conversation in my community. You can watch my interview on  **WKBW-TV - Channel 7 Buffalo NY **.

The momentum has started and I won't let it stop. I need to do this for him. For Mr. “T.” Because, honestly it could have been anyone caring for a family member.

Caregivers Stress Syndrome is real and it needs to be recognized and taken seriously. And we need to create medical treatments, resources and help for those family caregivers who suffer from it. And like, now!

Don't let this happen to another family caregiver. Let them know there are other options to help them and their loved one. They are not alone.

In the next coming weeks I will be arranging a caregiving health fair in Buffalo, N.Y., to talk about Caregivers Stress Syndrome. I will bring together resources and support for family caregivers to come, learn and share their stresses.

Help me help them! Will you join the movement? Email me at:

I am open to any suggestions of speakers, vendors, and exhibitors that can make this event a time where family caregivers can be heard and feel refreshed.

Thank you and God Bless!

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Thank you Frogger16 and Babs for your very kind words and support. \r\n\r\nWhen I told Denise about writing the email to the press, she suggested the health fair/conference to bring awareness to caregiver stress. I can't take credit for the idea, but I sure can run with it!! \r\n\r\nThanks again for your encouragement! I keep focused on who I am doing it for. And like you said, frogger.. all the \"Mr. Ts\" in the world.


Thank you for sharing this sad but true situation Lisa. Thank you even more, for speaking up/out for ALL the Mr.T's out there.\r\n\"Caregivers Stress Syndrome is real and it needs to be recognized and taken seriously.\"