In the Details Lies the Love


In the Details Lies the Love

A family caregiver sent me a tweet this morning that she logged her day.

A tweet about the Daily Log Project starts my day on just the right note.

I rush to read her blog post about her day (Tracking My Day).

Oh, my.

flowers-276014_640She writes quite simply about the day. In the early morning, she moves the blanket from her husband's face. Twice. In the evening, she changes into her pajamas after she puts away her groceries. Her six-year-old has a meltdown over her spelling words. She helps her husband sip his beer. She feeds her husband. At bedtime, she relies on pillows to make him comfortable.

Her day, so full of tasks, wasn't about the duties. It was about the love. Through each chore, she cares. Through each item she ticks off her To Do list, she loves her family.

Her log reminded me of conversations I've recently had with EllysGdaughter (@ccforsure) about caring for her grandmother, someone uncomfortable with intimacy and vulnerability. During our video chat this afternoon, EG and I spoke about how she now washes, moisturizes and bandages her grandmother's legs. Through her hands, EG says she touches her grandmother's soul. And, through the ritual of caring for her grandmother's legs, EG reconnects with the grandmother she loves, the one she knew as a child. (You can watch our chat via the video, below.)

We often think of the tasks during a caregiving day as a grind. They certainly are. These tasks are also the very important expressions. They may express the love you have for your caree, your family. They also may remind you of the importance of loving yourself, especially if you care for an individual difficult to love.

In the instructions included with the daily log, I talk about the devil being in the detail, that the attention to the mundane captures a snapshot of your day.

I'm reminded that the love is also in the detail. And, how often, the tasks show the love.


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