Isolation

Hayley

Isolation

Hayley
isolationI just need to vent. I have been very sick and of course, there is no one to take care of ME. I still have to do everything.

Today, I exploded. I have been getting no sleep between being sick and housebreaking a puppy. I tried to go back to sleep about 7 a.m. after I'd done all my chores, but I was disturbed three times with stupid phone calls. It took me forever to fall back asleep and the damned phone rang again.

Then it was time to get my mom up. I told her please let me get a couple of hours sleep. I've been living on interrupted sleep for weeks and I'm fried. As soon as I fell asleep, she started yelling. I thought she fell so I jumped up and ran into the living room. She said very calmly, "I'm hungry." WTF!!?? I started screaming that she was a selfish bitch who didn't care about me. I was just her nursing assistant. I was really loosing it!! I couldn't stop yelling. Part of me knows she's not as lucid as she was or she wouldn't have woke me and part of me was so angry for her lack of caring when she WAS still lucid. God forgive, I was raging.

I called my local Dept. for Aging, but they have NO support for caregivers. I'm all alone. Even when my mom is in the room with me, I'm all ALONE. I wish there was a support group in this town. I have tried using the chat room here, but there's too many people. I just feel lost in all the chatter. I know I'm luckier than most because my mom is still somewhat functional. I just wish I had a few days OFF. I NEED TIME OFF!! Being so isolated from people is killing me.

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