It Just Keeps Getting Worse

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It Just Keeps Getting Worse

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As those of you who have been playing along know, yesterday I had a tooth issue which is cutting a HUGE hole into my finances - in fact not only will I be robbing Pete to pay Paul but all the rest of the apostles are about to be mugged. Spending money I don't have, assuming that the dental office will let me make payments.

So guess what happened today?

The car battery died.

It's a 2007 Honda Fit so there aren't several choices of suppliers. In fact, at the auto parts store there was ONE choice. A $200 choice. So since winter is coming (no, not Game of Thrones' winter - good old Ohio winter) I plunked down the $ - not that I really had a choice anyway I don't own a battery charger. Probably could have borrowed one IF the car would have made it back to the office.

So as I type this, Mom points to my glass - wants what I'm drinking. So I go and get her some. Come back, give it to her and the next thing I know she's doing the pseudo crying thing she does. I have to show her that I gave her EXACTLY what I have because she thought I had wine. It's Kool Aid for cryin' out loud. I don't freakin' drink wine in a plastic cup, I use a wine glass. I give her a wine glass when she has a glass. I swear! As stressed as I am over the money problems I  so do NOT need this toddler-level bull from her.

And now she's taken her cup into the kitchen and is in the 'fridge looking for something else because she doesn't believe me that we have no beer and that there isn't any wine chilled and that I am NOT drinking wine.

Came back with the cup. Still has the Kool Aid. She never believes me. And no, that isn't the disease. She has NEVER believed me. Has always questioned every damned thing I say, think or do.

Let's recap the last six weeks, shall we?

  1. Broken car axle (no warning) $940

  2. Broken tooth results in partial crown $900 & complete destruction of HSA and maxing out of Care Credit Card plus dodging several bills to pay for it

  3. Mom visit to ER due to anxiety attack - whereupon tests show she is perfectly physically healthy

  4. Second broken tooth that will now result in implant costing thousands

  5. Dead car battery $200

  6. Phone got REALLY hot and battery drained quickly so probably have a dying cell phone

  7. House needs a new roof before winter


Thanks to caregifting I was able to get some money. But it's nowhere near enough. Given the problems of all the people in Houston there's no way I am putting up a gofundme campaign, not even for the roof.

I can't take a side job, work 40 hours a week at the day job AND take care of Mom.

I also can't take any more of this. I just can't.

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Lark

Oh, good grief, Cat. You shot my pity pot right out of my hands. You win! Really! I do not have the words to tell you how much I care about what you wrote. I care so much that you have all of this on you and I get that you feel that you just cannot do this anymore. There are times in life when it is an insult to look for the silver lining. There may be one or a ray of sunshine, there may be one, but not right now. Enough is enough and yet we can no more control the ups and downs than we can control the weather. I have friends who have done everything right to prepare for any event they can think of but the one they didn't think of happens. I suppose those of us here at caregiving can be little dots of light. Not a ray but a dot, like fireflies. We will be your fireflies of a silver lining. It's a hell of a note, girlfriend, a hell of a note.

CathyJ

Cat...this is an over reality of when it rains it pours. Sending positive thoughts and hugs for well-needed break. And I am thinking I would just start drinking wine in a red solo cup after your week or two. Hang in there.

StormCat

I feel every word. Thought i was the only one who doesn't honestly see a bright side! But we are stronger than we want to be. We keep going. Hugs

Denise

Hi Cat -- I can't even imagine how hopeless you must be feeling! It's awful when it just keeps piling on.\r\n\r\nI just wish that one challenge would come at a time. And, I think caregiving is more than enough of a challenge -- we don't need more!\r\n\r\nI do believe in miracles. I also believe you are deserving of one. \r\n\r\nPlease keep us posted as you can.