"It's Too Hard for You"

Denise

"It's Too Hard for You"

Denise
We Believe In YouSarah has done her homework when it comes to caregiving. She's contacted every organization she can think of which could help her and her caree. She's shopped for the best prices for supplies. She's hired a great home health aide privately so she can save money. She's organized schedules of help, uses technology to manage any task she can and is active with both a community and an online support group.

Which means she has as much control as she can over a situation that seems to add chaos into her day at will and without notice.

For all the solutions she's sought, she still sometimes struggles with how little support her family members and close friends provide. It's not that they don't listen. They do. It's what they tell after she's vented about a bad day or expressed a worry about an overwhelming problem.

"This is too hard for you," they'll say. "We really worry about you. You shouldn't be doing something that's so hard."

So, instead of feeling accepted, she feels judged. It is hard, Sarah will often think when a family member or friend tells her it's too hard, and wouldn't it be great if you believed I could do it.

During a difficult time, we can wonder if we're up to the task. So, when we hear we're not ("this is too hard for you"), we can lose what we need the most: Our belief in ourselves.

In a hard time, we need someone on our side who believes in us, who tells us we can, who reminds us of our strength, who encourages us to continue, who respects the importance of reaching our goal.

We believe in you. We know you can.

Resources

--Weekly Comforts

--The Caregiving Years

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Denise

Hi--Would it help you to have a regular support system in place? Blogging here can be really cathartic so please know that's available for you. Does NAMI have any support groups in your area? (http://www.nami.org/)\r\n\r\nI think part of the challenge becomes how to find the support you need during the really bad weeks. Because there will be bad weeks--and it would be great to know you have support in place.

Bob

Actually, I'm going through one of those hard times right now. In some ways unbearable. But I'm here and I have been beginning to formulate some plans on how I can lessen some of the stress in my life. No one ever promised me a Rose Garden, but I do know there are roses. I can see and smell one right now. A psychologist Denis Waitley suggested trying to do within when we're doing without.

Bob

Yes David, it is really painful when people do not understand how absolutely devastating mental illness can be. A compound fracture of the leg is something one can see. The symptoms of mental illness are invisible as you said, unless one were to spend any length of time with the person suffering. Welcome to Caregiving.com. Bob

Denise

Hi <a href='http://www.m40.siteground.biz/~caregiv6/members/icthus34/' rel=\"nofollow\">@icthus34</a> (David)--I'm glad you jumped in. :) I'm wondering what we can do to help?

ejourneys

Amen! There is much value in talking about the hard days. They're real. They're our war stories because we are all on the front lines here. Those who say \"it's too hard\" don't live where we live.\r\n\r\nAnd, as I can well attest, there is much value in screaming. :-)

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