Just When You Think It's Safe to go Back in the Water...


Just When You Think It's Safe to go Back in the Water...

drop-of-water-401326_640Well, Mom did not like going and having her nails done and eating lunch at the day care. I was determined that no matter what I would take her back this Wednesday, anyway.

Then, just like a day with a 92-year-old can go, she seems to have taken a turn. She is sleeping more and is getting hard to awaken. She is also not eating very much. I try to "sneak" in Boost as hot chocolate, and I make her oatmeal using it in the morning, but she does not want anything after dinner and is eating little.

I know these can be signs of her body starting to shut down, but when, exactly, am I supposed to take her to the doctor and say, "Do we need hospice?" She is not unwell, she has no fever, no pains, no complaints she just does not eat much and sleeps a lot.

I guess I need a manual, as I just don't know if I should act on this or just cruise along. And just when I finally said, Okay, I need some time for me. Oh well.

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Call her dr if the wait is too long call hospice. In your area. Our team was wonderful for the three months we had them. Things can change extremely rapidly so I would even take her to the ER if the dr. Will not see her within 24 hours. I have just gone through this, so believe me I know. Even if she gets a little better still get her to the dr as soon as you possibly can.


Hi Sharon, Your post reminded me of exactly what we went through with my M-I-L. She went from eating 2-3 decent meals a day normal sleep pattern, to her not eating much at all and sleeping lots. We didn't know what to do until I talked to a trusted nurse friend. \r\n\r\nShe made these suggestions: Take her to doctor or hospital for evaluation and she also gently said that we would get lots of help through Hospice.\r\n\r\nWe did exactly that. We called doctor and decided we felt best if test were run to rule out any other possible culprits (like a UTI or other issue) and not just the progression of her dementia. The test results were negative and we went with Hospice. I strongly suggest not to wait on Hospice. If she qualifies, you can get so much support and care. In fact my MIL ended up gradually getting better and after 1-1/2years was discharged from Hospice. She ended up living 2 more years. \r\n\r\nHospice always seems to be a gut wrenching decision but in my MIL case where there was no \"cure\" it was a huge blessing. \r\n\r\nOur local Hospice does an annual survey and every time the #1 comment about their service was that people wished they had is sooner. Many doctors are reluctant to even bring it up.


Hi Sharon--It's so tough to know how to manage a situation like this. \r\n\r\nMy feeling is that it's best to call the doctor. If she's not ready for hospice, you'll know. If she's ready, you'll have more support and help. If, when you call the doctor, he or she isn't helpful then contact your local hospice organizations for information. They will gladly share information that will help you know if it's time.\r\n\r\nPlease keep us posted as you can.