Katy Perry Rocks the Nursing Home

jan

Katy Perry Rocks the Nursing Home

jan
guitarist-248036_640Cause you're hot then you're cold, You're yes then you're no

You're in then you're out, You're up then you're down

You're wrong when it's right, It's black and it's white

We fight, we break up, We kiss, we make up.

This is what dementia feels like today. Everyday.

We were just watching a nice movie, no f-bomb words, no nudity, no transformers, blood or guns. My mother gets up from the couch, goes for her purse, and announces she wants me to call her a cab because she wants to go home, right now.  No matter how I or my husband tell her that a cab won't take her to Florida, she is stark raving mad. I thought she was going to hit me, it was the most irrational and out of control I have ever seen a 84-pound woman get. I had to get out her "drug stash" to calm her down. I so hope it does.

Earlier today she was insulted when I helped her with her seat belt; too independent for that. Insists on giving me money at the cash register, and when I say, "No, Mom, not this time; you can pay for the groceries next door"; by the time we have picked up three items, go to the register and I turn to her and say, "Okay, we can use your $10 bill now", she looks at me like I came from Tajikistan, fishes around aimlessly in her purse, and then hands me an envelope of photographs, while the line grows longer and longer behind us. I end up using my own money anyway.

Night time is getting to be more and more difficult. She can be sweetness and light, or she can be fidgety and anxious and looking for a container to leave a stool specimen in. I know the next time she comes "around", she's going to remember she was angry and feel bad about it. She can't say why she's angry (I only wish I knew), but she still has enough comprehension to know something happened, and it will make her sad and remorseful.

I am starting to wonder how long I will be able to do this.

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jan

Thanks, LilMagill. I took my mom to her geriatric specialist this week and he put her on an anti-depressant to help with the anger issues. The one thing he confirmed is that there are no hard and fast answers, as every case is individual and unique. It is so good to have helpers; doctors, spouses, and good listening friends.

LilMagill

This sounds so hard. :-( I feel like you're describing my future, and I don't know if I can handle it. At least your \"old mom\" still comes back to you sometimes. I wish you all the strength and patience you need.

jan

Thanks for commenting, Susan, and you are exactly right. Last year Mom had four UTI's in 7 months and like clockwork her behavior changed significantly. We finally went to a urologist, who gave her premarin cream to apply, and she has not had a UTI since. So we are victors in one area! And so far I'm still hangin' in there!

Susan

Hi Jan! I know how you feel. My mother had Parkinson's with dementia and it is such a cruel disease! I know one thing we found with my mother is that whenever she would act up, or her dementia would worsen, she usually had a UTI. In elderly people it can make them aggressive and act up when dementia is present. Once she was on antibiotics things would usually calm down. Just a thought. Hang in there!

jan

Thanks, Meghan. I appreciate your words of support. This morning my mom got up just like Ye Olde Mom, and gave me a hug and said she was sorry. I got in touch with her doctor, who has given me instructions for a new medication regime, so we'll give that a try. Let's hope Katy Perry stays on tour, and bypasses the nursing home.

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