Keeping Him Prisoner

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Keeping Him Prisoner

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My husband has stroke related vascular dementia with FTD overlay. One of the first symptoms we noticed almost six years ago was that he refused to go any place or do anything. Not go to church though before, he would never miss a Sunday.  Not to family gatherings. Not out into the back yard to sit in the sun. Not even into the living room to look out the window at the view that he had always loved. I can't tell you how much our sons and I have suggested, pleaded and schemed to get him to agree to go somewhere, anywhere.

Recently, it was announced that our new grandson will be baptized next month. After church, a member asked me if we were going to let my husband come to the baby's baptism. Let him come? I tried to explain about the kind of dementia my husband has and his symptoms and that we would be happy to let him go any place he would go. I don't know if I was successful or not. She probably still thinks we are holding him prisoner.

This is not the first time someone has said something like this and I try not to let it bother me but it does. Even my step sister whom, as much as we have talked, I thought understood, said she thought  we no longer brought him to family gatherings because it was too much trouble to get him down the stairs. We live on a hill with about twenty steps from the street to the house but we have a device called the Stair Climber. It was pictured in First Picture Group some while back. My son would be happy to use it to take him anywhere he wanted to go and other caregivers could be taught to use it as well.

I guess it just plain hurts my feelings to think that our friends and family think we don't know or don't care that socialization is so very important and that we would not go to any lengths to help my husband. Well, enough venting. It is 4:00 am here. I'm going back to bed. Good morning.

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