Last Days

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Last Days

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chess-603624_640Lately, my dad has been asking where my brother is when he's at work. If I'm upstairs he often thinks I've gone home. Today I caught the tail end of a conversation he was having with Mom about how they were going to get around after my brother goes back home (I guess it's true). I reassured him that I would still be around to take him to appointments, take them food shopping, and all the other things I'm currently doing.

My brother leaving appears to have my dad in a quiet panic. He knows he cannot drive, he knows we have to help him with many daily tasks, and he knows my mother can't do a lot of those things. He only voices concerns to my mother, in attempts to remain the strong father figure.

I, too, am in a bit of a panic. With my brother gone, I may have to take care of my dad for most of the week. Currently my sister comes on Saturday evening and leaves Sunday evening. My mother can hold things down during the day or evening, but she doesn't drive and she can't hear very well so someone needs to listen out for and assist Dad through the night. My sister has so much on her plate at home with family and work that I'm just not certain she will be able to do more.

My mother doesn't want this for me. She's made that clear that she doesn't want me to give up my apartment 100 miles away, but what is the alternative? Hours upon hours of expensive home health aides? Uprooting them to even more costly assisted living? I feel like this is a battle between the survival of their livelihood versus mine. In the end, who will make the ultimate sacrifice?

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MikeLur

Thank you so much for remembering our appointment and for the great advice. I'll let you know the outcome.

MikeLur

Hi Deborah, I'm still home Thursday afternoon – Sunday evening, so I'm home right now. We have not found anyone yet. We have an appointment on December 20 with the state Department on Aging to see what we qualify for (we applied for a Medicaid waiver). We'll see what happens then.