Living in the Past?


Living in the Past?

The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves. ~ Ray Kroc

One of the most important components to being a healthy family caregiver is to know your strengths and weaknesses, while realizing that asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness.

I am learning that the same rule of order applies for people like myself who are in after-caregiving. When the caregiving journey ends, we look for outlets, we look for a path, because in after-caregiving, our roads can tend to be filled with steep hills and deep drops. The hardest of the roads are those round-a-bouts, were you think you are going somewhere, yet you just spin around and around, only to you realize that you are on the same path.


Reaching out for help while you are in after-caregiving is just as important is it is when you are in the midst of caregiving. Yet the risk is harder because in this ask, it is all about you. I’ve had to learn the hard way that I can’t do this after-caregiving gig by myself. Living in the past is hard: Living in the moment is the only way to go.

Too many people to publicly thank but special recognition to my friend Betty, all my siblings, Denise and @Kathy for all the encouragement and support. A new chapter awaits me and is just around the corner. Now back to writing and continuing the path on how to better care for myself and live in the present. Because in the end, living in the past does not change it. Living in the past, only affects the present.


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Chris MacLellan

Hi Pegi, \r\n\r\nThanks for your kind words, and you're correct, love will always remain! :)

Chris MacLellan

Hi Maria, \r\n\r\nGoodness, your beautiful post hit home with me, especially this: 'no one was waiting on me to come home.' This has been one of the most difficult part of the transition for me, coming home. As I take more steps out of my withdrawal syndrome, I realize that coming home is Okay because no matter where I go, he is right beside me. It's taken me months to figure this out, but I am happy that the light has been shed upon me. Thanks you so much for sharing!


Chris,\r\n Great post! When my Grandfather & Aunt died within 4 months of each other I went through exactly what you are taking about.At the time the only way I could describe it was withdrawal. One of the hardest things I went through was the first time we went away & when we got home no one was waiting on me to come home.As a result of what I went through with my Grandfather & Aunt I started my own Care giving business.Because of what I went through I'm able to understand what families go through & can help them in ways I wouldn't have been able to without my experience.


Hi Chris--I'm so glad you posted an update. I hope you will continue to keep us posted as this next chapter unfolds.\r\n\r\nIt's good to remember and honor the past. It's important to live in the moment. It's empowering to know that our future also holds happiness and purpose for us. To find that happiness and purpose in our future, we have to let go of believing it only lies in our past. \r\n\r\nKeep walking. :)

Chris MacLellan

Hi Sally, \r\n\r\nThanks for your kind response; we are sure traveling the same roads. Learning how to take care of myself has been a very difficult adjustment for me. I simply love what you said, \"My love for my husband will never die and he will always be a big part of my life.\" I take comfort in those words, thank you for sharing and thank you for that gentle reminder. \r\nAll my best to you!\r\nChris