Loneliness

Thedogmama

Loneliness

Thedogmama
sylvester-393460_640Denise asked yesterday, “When is it really, really hard to go it alone?” For two weeks the same concept has been swirling around in my head. For some reason July 4th was the loneliest holiday since Mom passed away at the end of July last year. I have been trying to put my finger on the emptiness since then.

This was the first “family” holiday that my husband and I were really by ourselves. His mother and father passed away over thirty years ago. My dad, who was an only child, and now my mom, the last of her siblings, are both gone. I think being two only children has something to do with it. Neither of us have brothers or sisters, nephews or nieces. On Memorial Day we celebrated with our daughter, her boyfriend and our son continuing the family tradition at her house and we had a great time.

But this holiday was her vacation. Her brother joined her and her boyfriend and their new puppy camping in New Hampshire. So July 4th was just another day. A day I remembered family time at my Mom and Dad’s lake house. It was just that, the loss of family that made it so lonely for the first time. No mom, no dad, no uncles or aunts, no fishing, no jigsaw puzzles, no laughing around the table playing cards, drinking a little too much and trying not to wake any kids sleeping upstairs. No ducking when my father pulled out his camera, no Mom’s homemade apple pie, no kids. It was just another day and my heart seemed to break.

This weekend we are getting together for a “family” birthday celebration. Hubby and son are both July birthdays as well as a dear friend. She and her husband will be joining us all at my daughter’s house. Good friends, our whole family (all four of us), one boyfriend and two puppies. My heart is full, a smile is on my face and there is no room for loneliness right now.