sylvester-393460_640Denise asked yesterday, “When is it really, really hard to go it alone?” For two weeks the same concept has been swirling around in my head. For some reason July 4th was the loneliest holiday since Mom passed away at the end of July last year. I have been trying to put my finger on the emptiness since then.

This was the first “family” holiday that my husband and I were really by ourselves. His mother and father passed away over thirty years ago. My dad, who was an only child, and now my mom, the last of her siblings, are both gone. I think being two only children has something to do with it. Neither of us have brothers or sisters, nephews or nieces. On Memorial Day we celebrated with our daughter, her boyfriend and our son continuing the family tradition at her house and we had a great time.

But this holiday was her vacation. Her brother joined her and her boyfriend and their new puppy camping in New Hampshire. So July 4th was just another day. A day I remembered family time at my Mom and Dad’s lake house. It was just that, the loss of family that made it so lonely for the first time. No mom, no dad, no uncles or aunts, no fishing, no jigsaw puzzles, no laughing around the table playing cards, drinking a little too much and trying not to wake any kids sleeping upstairs. No ducking when my father pulled out his camera, no Mom’s homemade apple pie, no kids. It was just another day and my heart seemed to break.

This weekend we are getting together for a “family” birthday celebration. Hubby and son are both July birthdays as well as a dear friend. She and her husband will be joining us all at my daughter’s house. Good friends, our whole family (all four of us), one boyfriend and two puppies. My heart is full, a smile is on my face and there is no room for loneliness right now.

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You really are determined to make Theo my new nickname aren't you Sally. LOL \r\n\r\nThank you all for your comments_mysql...the beauty of this site is we all know we are in it together, no matter what phase of caregiving we are going through. It is like that old friend you haven't heard from in years...when you finally get a chance to reconnect it is like no time has passed at all. That's what caregiving friends are like; time passes, life with our caree changes, challenges continue, but no matter what the friends here continue to love and understand us. What a gift Denise has given all of us...each other.


Oh, I can see that happening for us too. . . It is hard when the traditions change, or are on a little break in time. Enjoy your upcoming family time! We will be vacationing together for the very first time with our sons and their brides this weekend. Sweet new memories are in the making for all of us!

Lillie Fuller

Enjoy your family time. I so understand this. Even though I still have my mom, the family is separated and we do not celebrate like we used to. Have a great celebration! Thank you for sharing!