More On Caregiving Part 3 (Bonding)


More On Caregiving Part 3 (Bonding)

800px-Water_splashToday has been a good day in my caregiving life. It's hard when my parents (both! ) have their unspoken expectations like I'm supposed to be in the kitchen now but I'm not I'm here. But I'm setting limits and learning that it's the dementia talking and Mom will be OK if I don't come right now.

Does this make sense??? That a difficulty is a positive??? Daddy heated our pool and it's 80 so it's warm! This is a biggie! He's saying to his little girl that she's important. Last night I had a lovely heart to heart with Mom.

I don't understand this disease but at night at bedtime Mom seems to get better and Dad worse.

Anyway, Mom and I talked about my 'ex' and I was in tears about a myriad of emotions--feeling alone, tired, sad, relief that I don't have to deal with my ex's birthday which is tomorrow, guilt, a lot of the stuff I see other people are dealing with. Mom starting stroking my hair and we just were... sigh... a good one. There was a moment a sanity in the insanity last night.

About an hour later, Mom came to say goodnight and sat on the towel I put down so my bed doesn't get urine soaked (guilt fairy is here that I shouldn't be typing that I'm relieved she sat on the towel! ). I put my head in Mom's lap and collapsed from exhaustion and Dad suddenly showed up at my door with his old self and said, "What's wrong?" with so much love it stroked my heart-strings. I told him I'm just wiped out to which he said so wipe out and pointed to my room. This is huge as he has said many times he doesn't want me here.  I have to remind myself that they are both scared and probably thankful to have me here, just as I'm thankful for them.

Today was a good day!  I took myself to coffee, sorry I missed the chat on caring for parents but I took care of myself :). Went to see "Man of Steel," which made me laugh and think of what "Love in Steel" we caregivers are.

And I went swimming in that 80-degree heated pool with the invitation from Daddy to go for a night swim!

So Happy Saturday to Everyone or Sunday as well.


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Cathy and Trish, yes these moments do keep me going. My challenge is to 'hold on' to them because they are few and far between so I get used to the 'negative'/ lack of filter moments.\r\nAnd Richard what 5 :)? Sounds like you see 5 needs that translated to my filter as 3 and a half . . . OK I'll take it. And I'm glad I could talk to them too!\r\n\r\nil