Moving Into Our Changes

Gary

Moving Into Our Changes

Gary
800px-Revere_Beach_-_IMG_0829Wishing a good Passover and Easter to all our fellow caregivers and care recipients here celebrating it. I am sorry that I haven’t updated sooner, because of many changes and new developments that happened recently. I hope that spring is doing its job by presenting new changes and rebirth on many levels for all of us, as much as possible. It can really happen–it’s been happening for caregiver “me” and my care recipient “Mom Dottie…” My mom is in a new place, and we are in the process of putting the old one on the market!

Last fall, I found out that I needed to have my gallbladder removed, for which I had surgery at the start of December. A third abdominal surgery in the almost nine years since my late dad’s passing! I recuperated for a week up my mom’s, followed by celebrating there a Christmas that I sensed was going to be the last one there (in a good way). This was spot-on!

Mom’s name had been on the waiting list for over a year for an apartment at the Jack Satter House senior residence right here in Revere, Mass., and an opening came through with a phone call in early February. With help of family, we got through it (on many levels!), and Mom is in place there now. She and I have helped get her a new dining set and bed, and other arrangements along with the very appreciated assistance of relatives and support of coworkers/friends.

Today, we celebrated our first holiday at her new digs. I can’t express how happy that I am for my mom, plus how nice it was to not be in that house that had become so lonely, and entombed in sad and empty memories. I am seeing my mom–sometimes without her even noticing it herself–making friendships, meeting people, and experiencing interactions for the first new times for herself in, almost literally, a decade! And her new appointed studio looks over Revere Beach Boulevard and Revere Beach. She deserves and earned this so much.

Next up, my co-owning cousin and I are in the process of moving on the house. He wishes to move on, to be with the rest of his family relocated in different years past to Florida, as well. So much is happening quickly. I trust him with lots of the formalities and making arrangements with real estate people and lawyers with whom we’re working. Friends working in estate sales and consignment are helping us to look at furnishings and preparing to stage our separate-unit home’s two levels. I’m apprehensive, and there’s balancing this with caring for mom and keeping up with work and all. But I say all this to remind myself that if mom and I could handle what we’ve accomplished the last few months alone–let alone these last nine years since dad passed–well, I think that we can do just about anything!

Dottie’s eyesight, rheumatoid arthritis, bladder problems, and balance have deteriorated more, but at almost 86 come October 18, she’s still feisty, charismatic, and full of life. It’s so good to see her get to be “Dottie” again, and not my dad’s widow. I mean this in a very respectful sense; I understand how much she loved and still misses my late father, but how awesome it is to watch how much she’s grown as a person even in her late 70s and 80s, learning new things and starting to enjoy being “alive again.”

And if it weren’t for Denise, all of you, and this safe strengthening space here online all these years, a lot of this would’ve been that much more difficult and scary for me–so I am always grateful. Keep you further updated again as sooner rather than later as becomes possible!

Have a holiday midnight cap on me and on my mom Dottie. Heck, just have another one anyway, be it Pinot Noir or a cup of tea, to say “thank you” and “good work” to yourselves! :)

Like this article? Share on social

2 Comments

Sign in to comment

Denise

Hi Gary--It's always so great to hear from you. :) I love our history together. \r\n\r\nI'm thrilled for you and Dottie that the move has been so successful. What a relief! And, you're right--these kind of successes bring confidence. It's wonderful to know you and your mom make such a great team. \r\n\r\nWishing you a great week. :)

jan

Great inspiration for Spring, Gary. Thanks for that!