Moving to Hope

Denise

Moving to Hope

Denise
aircraft-465723_640In February, my mom decided my parents should move from the apartment in the retirement community to a condo.

Several weeks later, my parents still talk about moving to a condo. And, I hope they continue to talk about it.

I spoke to my brother last week, updating him on the fact that my parents continue to talk about moving. I tried to explain why that was okay but didn't quite make my point. Then, in our evening chat, @lillie gave the word that escaped me during my phone call with my brother. Hope.

Talking about moving gives my parents hope -- hope that life will get better, hope that life will soon resemble the life they had a year ago, hope that they will get better.

Maybe the talk will escalate again to action, as it did in February. I think about last summer, when my parents talked about traveling again and booked airplane tickets to Phoenix for a two-week vacation that should have happened in February. When my dad booked the trip, I knew they wouldn't be able to make the trip. But, why would I be the one to stop the dreaming? In January, they canceled their trip, when my dad realized how much better it felt to just take a trip down the street to the library.

We all need hope, even when what we hope will happen never does. We all need to believe in our future, which means planning for it. Sometimes, dreaming about a plan may feel almost as good as if the plan really happened.

I hope.

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redbird

This is a lovely post on so many levels, Denise. I love that you give your folks the space to still hope. I am struggling with that issue with my folks right now, and needed to read this today. The circumstances are different, but I think the underlying sentiment is the same. As much as anything, I think it's my own need to \"fix\" and \"manage\" that keep me from allowing them that space. Thank you for sharing this!

Desiree

I wish I could feel positive and happy about the hope my Dad seems to cling to right now- that Mom will somehow recover her health, strength, and sanity. But right now, what he calls hope looks all too much like denial. He's running himself ragged, making frantic calls to me (I live about 20 minutes away) needing my help and advice. Which I will always give, to very best of my abilities. He knows I have experience, and useful knowledge. But he won't act on any of it. It's indescribably painful and frustrating, the whole situation.\r\nShall I have hope, that my Dad will look differently at his?