My Heart Hurts...


My Heart Hurts...

drop-of-water-166735_640Well, after over a YEAR--A YEAR--of waiting to hear back from the VA about being compensated for caregiving, we got the letter today saying we were denied.

We sent in 73 pages of proof from over 20 doctors in four states, along with letters from me, my aunt, my neighbors, and many others, current doctor's reports etc etc etc, and they still denied us! How can they do that?

She is bedridden. I do EVERYTHING!  I don't know what else I could do to be considered a caregiver! I gave up my job, my entire adult life, 14 years, can they in one letter basically say, in their eyes, I do nothing and I have wasted the last 14 years of my life? How can they say that Mom doesn't need assistance? She fought for her country honorably, she was injured while serving, so now, when we ask for help, why do they make us wait over a year just to deny us?

Why must we fight for every single thing? Why isn't there one person on our side? Do they have no heart?

I am sorry for ranting. I have been in tears since I read the letter, my heart hurts, and I am just sad. I don't caregive for the money (none of us do!), and I don't need a piece of paper to validate what I do. I guess I am just tired of fighting. We have been fighting for over 14 years with various "entities," I guess you could call them. We have to fight doctors and nurses and staff and workers comp and the VA and on and on the list grows. I just don't know.

I don't know why I am so emotional over this particular let down, why this letter brought me to tears. Regardless of what this letter said, I know that God is with us, He is our provider and protector. He is on our side. I will continue to comfort myself with that fact.

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I am so sorry, and I feel for your grief and frustration. I hope some of the suggestions in the comments_mysql work!


Not VA but we have had benefits denied and have had to appeal. I know how hard it can be and my best suggestion is to put it in God's hands and keep appealing if an appeal is available!


I'm so sorry LH. It's upsetting and disappointing. It must also feel a little hopeless--how else can you possible show them when they need to give you a \"yes\"?\r\n\r\nI have a feeling you're aware of the services through the VA for family caregivers, but just in case, you'll find them here:\r\n\r\nThe list includes information about Aid and Attendant Care, which Janet refers to above.


I understand hurting hearts.........I wrote a blog myself about a hurting heart.............for different reasons. Praying for you.