My Mini Meltdown

Lynette Whiteman

My Mini Meltdown

Lynette Whiteman
Last week, I had a "mini-meltdown." I had a really stressful day at work where everything that could go wrong did go wrong, my knee was really hurting and I was feeling really overwhelmed. When I came home from work, I wanted nothing more than to be with my dogs, on the couch and not have to do anything.  Well, as caregivers, we know how long this little pity-party lasts...

So, I rallied, and on schedule, made dinner for my mom.  Because of her illness, she has no insight/interest into what I might be feeling or even the fact that every time she asked me to get something for her, I was limping around in pain.  Maybe this is a terrible analogy, but it did bring back so many memories of when my kids were small and I had to care for them despite being sick myself.

During dinner, my mom kept sneaking food to my dog under the table when she thought I wasn't looking. When I caught her, she made a little sly smile.  I know it doesn't sound like much and I might sound like a crazy-person here, but this is like nails on a blackboard to me.  I just burst out crying because I knew I had no control of yet another situation and I couldn't express my frustration because this is her illness in full force.

Eventually I rallied and watched Jeopardy as usual, and I guess I can say I'm proud of myself because I didn't take out any of my frustration on my mom.

"On The Frontlines of Caregiving" podcast this week had a wonderful guest - Virginia Sampson.  Virginia and I talk about alleviating burnout in caregivers and how to show yourself self-compassion, even in times of "mini-meltdowns."

Virginia is going to be a speaker at our wonderful NCC18 Conference in November and you can find more information about her by following Virginia on Twitter,  on Facebook  and on her website: www.compassionmagic.com. 

As Virginia told me "there is no perfect caregiver."  Amen to that!