My Mojo

Lark

My Mojo

Lark
I have lost my mojo. I took it for granted. I never dreamed I could lose it. But today while pondering my response to life lately, I realized that I have lost my mojo.

This may seem a trivial loss to many people. It is a significant loss to me. My mojo holds my sense of humor and my tolerance for others. My mojo holds my love of life in the midst of a storm. My mojo holds my self-esteem and my ability to laugh at myself and others. My mojo remembers the kind words and deeds of others and forgets the ones that hurt. My mojo puts the pep in my step and the song in my heart. My mojo accepts love and gives love. My mojo is a gift. My mojo holds that tiny mustard seed of hope and the memories of my victories. My mojo fits only me and no one else in the universe. It is uniquely mine. It never loses me but I can lose it and I have lost it.

You may ask how can I lose my mojo? What happened to make me lose my mojo?

I cannot say the exact moment I lost my mojo. I can say that through choices I have made I took my mojo for granted. One thing a mojo cannot do is to feed itself. I have to take care of my mojo. I have to acknowlege my mojo and exercise it. My mojo depends on me for the energy that fuels all the wonderful gifts the mojo gives to me. I took my mojo for granted and now I cannot find it.

I lost it when I began feeling run-down and sorry for myself. I hushed my mojo when it would try to help me lighten up and feel better. I did not want to feel better. I wanted attention and I wanted to feel lost and alone.

I lost my mojo when I began judging myself and comparing myself to other people. I turned away my unique mojo and coveted the mojo of other people. This is a serious offense against my mojo and may have caused the loss of it without any further actions on my part.

I lost my mojo when I resented the good fortune of someone else and wondered why I was left out. I was telling my mojo that it was not enough and I needed more than it had to give. I showed a lack of respect and love for my mojo.

I want my mojo back. I want to feel whole again and to experience the joys and the acceptance my mojo gives me. I ask my mojo to forgive me for abandoning it and putting misery over joy. I ask my mojo to accept my humble apology for ignoring the gifts of tolerance and acceptance and chasing the curse of impatience and displeasure. I want my mojo back.  I will humble myself and allow the path to my heart to clear and to receive my mojo. For my mojo was never lost at all. I was lost. I walked away and I chose to silence my mojo. I pray that when I go to sleep tonight my mojo will stride down the path to my heart and my heart will receive it with open arms. My mojo is as eager for me as I am for it. I will care for my mojo and I will nourish it so that I can gain the many gifts and abundant joy of a healthy mojo.

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jan

Lark, you are amazing for how deep you are willing to go inside your soul. Most people rush around \"doing\" things, just so they don't have time to think like that. I do hope you find the peace of mind you are seeking.

Michelle

I enjoy your writings. “Mojo” was beautiful, poetic and sad. We found you in it. I found my self in it.

CathyJ

You are too deep and real and honest of a person. You have given tremendously and your mojo may have been shared out temporarily to support all those you love. It is there and will be back...rest and prayer and celebration of you. Lark...again your writing skills just blow me away....such a gift with your words. Thank you for always sharing.