Not a Good Monday

Carlsbad_caverns_national_park_sunsetI try to be a good wife, daughter and Mom and a sister and an aunt but sometime I fail and today I felt I failed as a wife and a daughter and a mom.

First thing this morning I get a Facebook message from my son saying we have to figure how to stop the bug bites on his daughter's legs. She has only started getting them here in the past two weeks. Our house is sprayed monthly and no one else gets bugs bites but her. So I give up on trying to figure out the two of them. So my day started terrible. Then to add to everything my mom's caregiver got a better job so now we are having a different caregiver. My mom doesn't want to have a caregiver, she feel she is just being babysitting. So the war starts, between me starting long term insurance until May and "I am wanting to spend her money on her care and waste her money. And that no one wants her so she would rather die now because no one wants her."

I feel like I am a only sibling right now. My three brothers are useless and could care less what going is on. I have already took two of my anxiety pills and probably will take more before the evening is over. If I dropped the caregiver, I may just sign my divorce papers right now cause my life will be over. My husband is the best and he does everything, but I think will take him over the top.

All I can think is why me? My brothers hardly visits but I still get beat up because I want Mom to be safe. I feel like I am on the lonely island right now. I talked to one of my friends and of course I cried through our whole conversation and I know I upset her.

I guess I have to make up my mind. My life was good for the past two months but now back to staying home all the time. I have given up time with my sister-in-law and my other friends so this shouldn't be a big deal.

I just right now feeling that I (really mean my husband and I) shouldn't have to do this alone.

Everyone have a great week!!!

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